==Jun shut the door behind them, locked it, then grabbed her to him, swooping down for an open mouthed kiss. Mao welcomed him. Her tongue wrestling with his. Jun gave a moan as he backed her onto the wall, savoring her as his tongue drove harder inside. Her hands were lost in his hair as his hips circled; his body hardening. His hand found their way under her skirt and made its way up the inside of her thighs. She gave a little gasp, grabbing a handful of his hair, when his fingers started toying with the band of her underwear. She arched her back to him as their kisses became more torrid; biting and sucking. Her hips bucking at his fingers brushing against her.
She moaned some more when his lips left hers and started their way down her neck. Trailing kisses with his open mouth; sucking on her collarbone when he reached it. She bit back a strangled protest when his teasing fingers left her. He claimed her lips once again when he'd pulled off her top and threw it down. Trapping her again against his hips; his arousal straining against him, he reached around her, his fingers going to unlatch her bra.
He needed to see all of her.
His ears pounded as his muscles leapt when her tongue slid down from his jaw to the hollow of his throat. He could feel her loosening the buttons on his shirt. His fingers losing some of their strength as he tried to concentrate; she was making it difficult when her hands had slipped inside his pants. He was trying.
Really trying.
Mao surfaced from her own passion, realizing that Jun was still having a hard time with her bra. A conscious giggle suddenly came from her followed by a snort. Jun who was going crazy with desire, the lust pounding in his blood, leaned back to look at her. How could she laugh at a time like this? But she looked too adorable, giggling and looking up at him as if challenging him not to think it isn't funny. Well, he was still working on her bra and he let out a frustrated sigh and gave a chuckle.
Stifling the giggles, she slid down the floor. But she couldn't help it anymore. The giggles became her sweet laughter and Jun shaking his head, couldn't help but join in. He plopped down beside her; she was holding her stomach as she continued in her giddiness. She titled sideways, leaning against Jun's shoulder, loving the sound of his laughter rumbling against his chest.
“You're still torturing me.”
Mao straightened up, trying to catch her breath.
“Since when?”
Jun's eyes narrowed at the innocent expression on her face. She took their game in the limo to a whole new level and she just forgets all about it once they arrived at the villa. He thought he was going to go insane with need and she seemed mighty calm about it, taking her time for the rest of the day. While he was in hell, just wanting to devour her.
“Don't play that game.”
“I'm not,” she said, unable to keep a straight face. “It's not my fault jie wanted to talk when we arrived earlier.”
“You could have said you were tired.”
“But I wasn't.”
“You would have been.”
Mao gave a laugh at that and bit her lip. Jun felt a stirring once more. It's like an invite to ravage those lips of hers. She then cupped his jaw and stroked his cheek.
“Come on. Jie and Ge are probably waiting for us already.”
“I'm still dying here.”
“We still have to have dinner.”
“I can have you.”
“Stop being cheesy. Besides, we can't go in looking like we were-” She gestured that he knows what she means.
“They won't know that.”
“You can have your way after dinner, okay?” She then conceded with a smile.
Jun considered her for a while. The smile lining her lips seemed to be full of hidden meanings. She's always being deliberate and he had the feeling she wasn't done yet in making him into this really hot, really bothered mess. He doesn't mind it most of the time. The game would always end them tangled in wild, mind-blowing ecstasy. It may be what she had in mind right now but he can't wait any longer.
“I don't think so.”
Mao laughed as he pounced and pinned her to the floor, straddling her. Realizing her plan isn't going to work. His intense gaze slowly went down to her lacy bra and Mao felt the heat pooling between her legs once more. She could feel his hand making its way up her back as he lowered his lips, his hot breath on her neck.
“Two out of three?” He murmured huskily; teasingly, then claimed her lips to silence her giggles.
==
Jun stepped into the foyer with Mao beside him. She was subtly rubbing the sleep from her eyes; thanks to the long drive they took going here. It hasn't been two days since he got out of the hospital when his ge had called him up again and had set a date for their visit to their villa. He and jie wondered though if he was up for it; they knew he needed rest. But it was an excuse to get out of the city for a while. He would never miss that.
It was just an overnight stay though, even though Aiba was holding the fort tremendously, he still needs to show himself from time to time. Rumors are bound to crop up given the ambush that no one saw coming could be twisted into a sign of weakness. But taking the time off was cathartic, making it harder to go back. Even think of going back.
He looked to Mao.
But what can he do? He wants what he wants... Consequences be damned...
Mao gave a little yawn, covering it with her hand. Their ride over here was certainly uneventful. Thankful as he was that they've reached a certain level of civility, it was still unsettling in some ways. Mao had slept the whole way through. He'd wondered at first, if she was just using that excuse to avoid any awkwardness between them. But as he looked at her, he doubts it. With the recent events looming over their minds, she probably hasn't slept well in days...
They hadn't been in the car thirty minutes and she had her eyes closed. She was leaning against the door of the limo and he'd been fighting the urge to pull her to him so she can be comfortable. In the end, he couldn't help it and she ended up nestled against him. His hand had found its way to her arm and he gave it a light squeeze. He'd missed her; her warmth and how she smelled of lavender. And just how she fits so perfectly with him. His eyes saddened.
Rides to their ge and jie's villa had always been fun. Loud most of the time for the main purpose of wiling away the time so limos were preferred. Probably no one can beat them in being the most creative in coming up with things to do. And the times she'd driven him crazy, the good kind of crazy, just by being too damn playful and teasing.
But now, the silence speaks volumes...
His men, carrying their bags, passed them and was heading for the stairs; having received instructions on where they would be staying. He'd been too preoccupied with the memories they'd made every time they were here and failed to notice Mao seemed to be alert and awake now and her eyes trained on the stairs.
“You two!”
Mao's eyes snapped down to her jie, coming in from outside. Her hair tied in a chignon; her wrap billowing behind her as she quickened her steps towards them. She was pulled into a warm hug and they exchanged fierce “I miss yous”. But she was distracted as her eyes met Pi's once more. His face void of any expression as he slowly made his way upstairs, her bag in his hands. His jaw tightened slightly and she willed herself to look away as her jie began to ask them how their trip was.
**
“Didn't they say Miss Mao's bag was for another room?” A lie. He just didn't want to accept the facts.
Nagasaki, if he remembers his name correctly, straightened up after placing Matsumoto's bag down and gave a frown. “I don't think I heard that part. Besides, it's none of our business anyway.”
Oh yeah, it was none of his business. But not him. He was taking it upon himself to make it his business. He reluctantly dropped the bag on the lounge chair and gave the room a quick survey. His eyes fell on the bed and it feels like someone has just kicked him in the stomach. You could say it took a while for him to realize just what he was feeling. This sudden urge to just hit something.
Jealousy.
Never has he felt this way.
He's even dodging calls from Sho just because he couldn't concentrate on anything else. He needed to resolve this. Quickly before it tries to take over his common sense.
And the sight he witnessed in the kitchen just nights before certainly isn't helping as it chose right now to come to his mind. A nice, cozy dinner. And he heard her laughing. So sweetly in fact, he thought he was hearing things. But there they were when they had stepped into the room. A slight panic had clutched his whole being, seeing them like that. Afraid to think about the change he's seeing between them...
And while that change was happening, she was turning away from him. Ever since he'd tried to open up, slowly and unsurely, she chose to stop caring. He knew she was finding it hard to trust him. He couldn't blame her. A big issue like that was hard to forget, even though it's clear Nino has nothing to do with their world anymore. But it had made her realize he may have more secrets. Something he didn't confirm or deny. He just had one simple question for her.
Would she still be willing to find out as he slowly shows her the real him. He can't give it all at once; leaving himself vulnerable. He's still trying to overcome that fear...
He had gotten his answer. One he can't make himself accept. He could have tried to get an opportunity to talk to her, but with Aiba around it just got a lot harder. He's been pulled out from her detail and all he's got are glimpses of her around the house. He had tried to keep his slight panic from turning into a full-blown one. But as days passed, the chances to get near her were becoming slimmer... And then Nino's phone call came.
He knew he should keep it together. But it could be obvious in his body language these days. He had to do something. Take action; because Matsumoto seeing Nino alive and happy in a new life with his daughter just jeopardizes everything.
Because he knows what would have gone through his mind when he learns of the possibility of creating a different life. When it's staring right at him.
He'll do everything he can to have that.
With her.
He knows perfectly well. He understands perfectly well.
Because it's the same thing he would do.
It's just what he would do himself.
He needed to talk to her. He felt the panic rising again. Maybe he wasn't satisfied in not hearing her say it. Hearing her say that she wants nothing more to do with him. From the gazes they shared, he just can't accept it till it came from her.
He considered himself lucky to be able to come here with them. Without Aiba breathing down on the assignments this morning, he was able to switch it up. As Matsumoto still was used to him being in her detail, he had called for him and Nagasaki. And no one ever thinks to challenge their aniki.
It was ironic how he has Matsumoto to be thankful for.
They stepped out of the room as he pulled the doors close behind him.
Now all he has to do is get her alone and finally get his answer.
Hoping with all of him, that it is what he wants to hear...
**
“You went to see him?”
Mao's hand stilled from stirring the tea as she looked at her jie. A wan smile was on her lips.
“I did... It's hopeless. He can't forget... And he doesn't want us to forget just as easily. I'm sorry. Dragging you guys into this-”
“Jie, you can't apologize for him. Not ever,” Mao cut her off gently. “It's his problem. He's the one who got us into the crossfire. The important thing is... we still have Jun and- and Ohno.”
Yuan looked at her, trying to mask the worry she feels for Ohno so she won't feel to bad about it. “How is he?”
“The doctors are just leaving it to fate now. But don't worry, I know he's going to pull through.” She managed a smile filled with hope and strength. Things she was lacking for the moment but she didn't want her jie to feel any of the guilt anymore.
“I wanted to try to shake some sense into him. Even thinking of bringing up the fact our birthday is in two days. But the minute I saw him...,” her voice trailed off, looking out to the pool.
Mao reached over and squeezed her jie's hand. She knew the story about their birthday. How can someone just let themselves go like that? How can he take down his own family? Forgetting their past. Forgetting everything they've gone through together. But they all know the answer to that, right?
“If he could just open his heart once more for us. If he could just pull himself out of that hate. If he could allow everything that's good back in...”
“Will that make everything okay again? Could it?” Mao asked, somehow wanting to hear the answer with something akin to quiet desperation. She didn't hear the opening of the patio door and someone stepping out.
“If he's trying to change. If he's thought of that, even in the slightest... Then I'll make it be okay.” Yuan looked down, a sad smile hanging.
The words were still on her mind when her jie's guard came out with a phone. It was a call for her husband but since he hasn't arrived yet and couldn't be reached, they tried with her. She excused herself with an apologetic smile and went inside to take it. Mao's eyes followed her. Her jie would sometimes be the one handling things for her ge; something Jun and her dad never allowed for her. She stared absently at the cake in front of her, pushing at it with her fork when a noise behind her caught her attention.
She turned her head and was startled to see Pi standing there. Realizing she was thinking about him just now. He was again looking at her like he always did the past days. And once again she felt that ache within her as their gazes locked. He looked like he had something to say but his eyes flicked towards her jie's guard; who had his back turned from them, surveying the surroundings carefully. Even though the villa was well-hidden and relatively safe, they didn't want to take any chances.
She turned back to her cake but the growing awareness of him behind her made her want to leave. She felt him move closer, almost uncertain. In the next instant, she had pushed her chair back and stood up. She turned around avoiding him and in her haste, had stepped on the hem of her maxi dress, causing her to almost topple forward to the grass.
A hand firmly grasped her arm to keep that from happening. A lighter touch on her elbow as he steadied her.
Her head snapped to him and she immediately pulled away. His fingers grazing her skin as she did. The touch lingering. Their eyes met. As if acknowleding something in that small moment. She felt her face growing hot. The air charged with something much more. She then snapped to it and moved. And just as she knew, he would follow.
It's better that way. This can end.
They walked past another set of patio doors and she quickly rounded the corner. They didn't need an audience. She turned around as soon as they were clear, feeling a sort of frustration.
“What do you want from me?”
Pi stood in front of her, silent as she waited. With raw honesty he gave his answer.
“You.”
She stood there, a red tinge had appeared on her cheeks. She raked a hand through her hair, looking around as if she wanted to see if there was someone who can help. As if she wanted to forget what he just said. Trying to forget... She didn't want to be affected. Her eyes went back to him.
“I can't trust you.”
After a bit of struggle, he replied, “I know.”
She gave him an incredulous look. “And that's all you can say.”
“You have to give me a chance.” He didn't know if it sounded right. He didn't know anything right now. He just doesn't want to see her turn away forever.
“I have given you a chance. And I am giving you that chance again. Is there anymore I need to know about you?”
He gave a frustrated sigh at himself. At his helplessness.
“You not answering is scaring me...”
His eyes snapped to her.
“It feels like there are way worse things than what you've shown me. I understand the situation with Ninomiya is nothing to worry about. I know that but... What's coming next? Has it got something to do in that vein? With who I am? Why can't you be honest and upfront with me? Who are you, really?”
He took in a nervous breath and tried to articulate what it all means for him.
“I'm a wreck. And a nobody. And admitting that in front of you is one of the scariest things I've ever done.” He was horrified to realize he was shaking a little. Mao was clutching the side of her dress as he went on. “You've seen a part of me I've tried to ignore all my life. Because I can't be faced with what I've become. And letting you see that... I can't let that be the one that defines me to you.”
“I have so many things I want to say to you and the thought of peeling all those layers away... Something I've hold on to; something I thought that protects me from the world, is scaring me out of my wits....”
Mao bit her lip, seeing him struggling to open up to her.
“Because I don't know if that same identity I had adapted and tried to keep up would eventually make you turn away. I don't think I can live with that. ” He swallowed hard. “I still don't know who I am, but I want to find that out. With you... “
Mao took in a shaky breath. “What you're asking from me... is too much...”
“Is it Matsumoto?” He asked after a pause. He didn't know if he really wants to hear...
She looked away. “You have no idea what I've been through...”
“I won't hurt you.” He said with conviction. He believes that. He does... He wants to believe that.
“But I know you will. And what's frightening is-” She stopped herself from saying anymore. “I can't do this. Forget everything. Just- forget everything.”
But as those words tumbled out, her throat constricted painfully. He was looking at her, his face crushed. She can't stay another minute and torepast him.
“You do that.”
His words stopped her.
Pi turned around, looking at her back. A weakness suddenly hitting him.
“But I can't let this go.”
Mao resisted the urge to look back at him. With her heart racing, she managed to move her feet, willing them to put as much distance as they can between them. Trying to erase the words that kept coming back to her. She looked up and saw her jie coming out, looking around for her.
“What happened?” Yuan asked in mild surprise when she saw Mao, looking slightly flushed.
“N-Nothing. I just thought I'd go for a walk.”
“Sorry, the call took longer than expected. Is Jun okay, by the way?” Yuan went back to her seat. She has been wondering why he hasn't joined them.
“He went up to rest for a bit. He'll come down once Ge arrives.” Mao picked up her teacup; thankful that her racing heart is slowing down. She didn't need this right now.
Yuan considered her for a while. “Mao... Everything is okay with you and Jun, right...?”
Mao lowered her hands and placed the cup back on the table. There was no use hiding it anymore. They've accepted their fate. She's accepted their fate... She didn't want to have to cover for it again. It is what it is.
“Jie...”
**
“Ge.”
The two shared a brotherly hug. Takeshi stepped back. He gave him a clap on the shoulder. And that was all Jun needed. He knew his ge was feeling the guilt and the burden of what Wu Zun had done. He could see it in his eyes mixed with the sadness he feels for his lost brother. But a new determination was also in them. As much as he loved Wu Zun, it was time to put an end to all of it. His brother needed to know that he won't be there to clean his mess anymore.
“What's gotten your attention?” He had called out to Jun thrice before he heard him. Takeshi looked out the windows. And from their second floor view, he could see the table out on the grass. Cakes and tea. But no one was in sight except for the lone guard.
“Nothing. Just got lost in thought for a while.” Jun gave a smile. It faded as he remembered the scene he had witnessed.
He'd come out of their arranged room when it got a little stuffy for him. He was feeling restless, hoping he'd hear that his ge has arrived. He'd walk absently towards the windows and saw Mao and Yuan Jie. Yuan Jie was going in to take a call, leaving Mao who seconds later had stood up and almost tripped. Yamashita, who he hadn't noticed, was there to catch her. It wasn't supposed to be anything significant. But as his hands steadied Mao and as she pulled away, there was a certain familiarity in the flow of their movements. His eyes had narrowed slightly at the way his fingers brushed her arm when she pulled away. It was then that he heard his ge call his name.
And looking back down right now, Mao was nowhere to be seen. So was Yamashita.
It was nothing. He was just probably being oversensitive; his restlessness slowly increasing as the prospect of talking with his ge was coming closer. And with that thought and his ge here, all other thoughts were pushed away. Their talk was all that matters right now.
Takeshi seemed to catch the look in his eyes.
“Ge, I need your help...”
**
Jun pocketed his phone and looked out the window, feeling a mild headache. Two days had passed since their trip to the villa and now he was slowly making his way back to the business. He didn't feel right in dumping all responsibilities on Aiba when he had his own monsters to battle. Afraid that the added stress could trigger something that they'll regret. But Aiba, still supportive of him taking a short leave, won't have it. He's earned every right to take some time off; he's bound to push himself over the edge if he doesn't. He can handle himself, he needn't worry was what he reassured him.
His concern was appreciated. But today, he had to do this meeting. Some of their associates had gotten testy with his absence and he needed to smooth that out first. And he was on his way. He's been gone just a few days and everyone was asking for him already.
What more if he leaves?
For good.
The memory of his talk with his ge was still fresh on his mind. After that talk, any other person wouldn't have the tolerance to still go through the motions in this world. But it's glaringly clear it's not going to be easy with his position. He still had things to answer to and he will take the time to manage them well. He owes it to his dad and Uncle Toshiro. It was going to be a hell of a feat but he didn't care. Because he's decided.
“I want out, Ge.”
Those were the next words out of his mouth after asking his ge for help. The latter regarding him silently for what seemed like eons.
“It's going to take a while,” was all he said.
He didn't ask his reasons, didn't question his decision knowing he wouldn't come to him if he wasn't sure. He wondered if his ge had known all along things might turn out this way for him. As if he knows something... But he didn't care. His mind couldn't process anything except for the fact that he'd taken that step. That step towards a different future. He was veering away from what fate has planned for him. And he's never felt more free.
Though the decision came with its burdens and doubts, ultimately, he knows the lengths he is willing to take. It's time he takes his life back...
He's given enough...
But that significant moment came with one disheartening realization...
He had woken from a light sleep when he felt someone putting a blanket over him. He opened his eyes to Mao, straightening up. Realizing he had fallen asleep on the lounge chair inside their room. After his talk with his ge, it seemed like all the tension had gone from him along with thoughts occupying his mind for the past days, his body had finally been able to relax and he must have dozed off when he had returned to their room, feeling a little dazed at the events.
She had given him a small smile. “You look beat. Sleep... I'm... I'm just here to get my bag.”
His brow furrowed and he suddenly understood. She was moving to a different room...
Her saddened eyes met his. “I've already told jie the truth... I think it's time they know...”
He tried to pull himself back from that moment. It still stung... It seems like everything between is changing so fast... Was his decision enough to mend things? He wasn't naive in thinking everything could still go back to the way they were... Too much has happened for that... He knows that, just afraid to admit it. But maybe if they finally get out from the shadow of this life...
Maybe then they could at least have a shot at some kind of happiness...
Not the kind he'd imagined they would have before... But this kind... The kind they have now... It could be a start...
It may hurt still...
But at least it's something...
He rubbed his temple absently. Pi took a glance at him from the passenger seat. Their driver adjusted the rearview mirror and his words effectively distracted both men's attention from their current concerns.
“We have a tail.”
Jun carefully turned his head to check and see while Pi's eyes went to the side mirror. Only seconds later, the driver swore out loud as a truck came out of nowhere heading straight for them. The driver swerved to avoid it just in time; their car careening over to an empty street. Coming to a full stop beside the sidewalk. All three seemed to be okay aside from a few bumps.
“The hell-” Jun started.
The gunshots followed almost immediately.
Their car was being gunned down.
**
The bullets ricocheted off the walls, sound of breaking glass all around them. Jun shielded himself from it as the shards came raining down on him. They had managed to get off the car; now using it as a shield from the assailants. The two cars holding more of his guards had turned around and were now engaged in a gun fight. The assailants didn't seem to want to budge; out for blood.
They managed to get a few shots in; causing injury to some. But bullets were soon running out. Jun shouted if back-up's on its way. The driver had said yes. And all three of them started their own assault once again. A sudden cry of pain. The driver was hit as he slumped down the concrete in pain, clutching his shoulder.
“Shit.”
Jun pulled him in for better cover. The bullets still flying all around. He chanced a look ahead. His men were losing the fight. He looked to his right. Yamashita had pushed in a new magazine and ducking, waited for the right window to start shooting again. Jun had started once more. Pi's eyes shifted to him.
His back was to him.
They then went back to his gun.
His index finger curled around the trigger.
He seemed to be struggling with himself.
Jun had ducked down again; his gun empty. He reached over to grab the gun laying beside their driver's hand.
Pi swiftly moved forward, leveled his gun and fired.
Jun watched as the man fell to the ground. He turned his head and saw Pi's grim face, gun still raised. A sudden movement behind him. A second too late.
He heard the shot and Pi fell forward.
He swiped the gun on the ground and opened fire.
**
“It sounds like a lot of fun over there.”
Mei chuckled at the slight pout in her voice. She heard one of the kids requesting to change his animal into a stegosaurus. Mao laughed at Mei's answer; saying she can only allow leaf-eating dinosaurs in the program. It was obvious it was Akira, who hated vegetables with a passion. He'd rather be a koala than a leaf-eating dinosaur and that was the end of their conversation.
“You haven't been taking care of yourself. Time off from the kids is an appropriate punishment.”
Mao gave a smile at her concern, reaching for some teabags from the cupboard. She hadn't been feeling well ever since they got back. She was always telling Jun to watch out for his health and at the same not heeding her own advice. Everything just came in all directions; she hasn't been sleeping well in a while and her body has had enough. It didn't help that their trip yielded an added factor...
Her eyes went to the windows. Only earlier had she caught a glimpse of Pi on his way out when she came down for some water. She'd learned he was going to be a part of Jun's detail this day. Jun and he... She brought herself back to her conversation with Mei Jie.
“You should always be nagging me about it then,”she teased. Lun Ge had complained good-naturedly just how Mei Jie has been with him. The grin he had on his lips then instantly faded into one of uncertainty when he saw his wife's expression. He's probably still suffering for that comment. But she knows she'll be able to get away with it.
“On second thought, I prefer this arrangement really. At least I have the kids all to myself,” Mei huffed with love then laughed.
Mao cooed words of comfort in a teasing way. But she knew there was a slight ruth coming from her words about wanting the kids all to herself. Having finally made the decision not long before that they are going to Taiwan to start anew... She loves the kids; they've become a family. And leaving them is just tearing at her.
Mei Jie chose to tell the kids after they finish with their program. She didn't want to risk dampening their moods and just wanted to see all their kids all fluffy and happy. Wanting to see their proud smiles. Mao agreed because she herself felt like throwing a tantrum after hearing the news, but deep down she knew this is just what they need. And if it leads them to a better life... Parting ways would be all worth it. She can always come back. She'll always be a part of them.
“Maybe we could arrange one last trip before you and Ge go.” Mao tried to keep the sadness out of her voice. It was already hard enough for her jie right now. But she'll be okay. She has Lun Ge with her.
Mei was ecstatic about the idea. But a little squabble between the giraffe and zebra suddenly needed her attention. They said their goodbyes and Mao put down her phone. She placed the used teabag on a saucer and picked her mug up. A number of guards suddenly rushed past the windows. Alarmed, she placed her mug down and headed towards the back door leading outside. She followed them, jogging behind. She could hear one of them talking on the phone, reporting that everything was alright in the house. Her heart thumped painfully as one of them asked if there were any news of injuries. If the boss was okay. No, not again...
Not again...
Jun...
And then unbidden, her mind went to Pi.
No one gave an answer as they rounded the corner, followed by her, and quickly ran ahead. Four SUVs were already rolling to a stop. The sedan Jun usually uses nowhere in sight. Her heart gave a lurch. She saw doors opening and finally sees Jun step out. A wave of relief washed over her. He was unharmed,
He was alright.
Startled guards had let her pass when she caught up with them. Jun who had been issuing orders, looked around and saw her running towards him, looking paler than usual. He left the guard he was talking to and went to meet her halfway.
“Thank God you're okay,” she breathed out, positively shaken, her eyes shining as she clutched his arms. He had a few cuts and scrapes but he was okay.
Jun's hands cupped her face gently, his heart swelling at the sight of her. He pulled her into his embrace and she didn't fight it. Just glad to see him come home. She buried her face in his shoulder. She asked what happened and with a slightly shaking voice asked if everyone was okay.
“The only explanation is Wu Zun. But he's clearly not one to make such a stupid move. I don't know...”, Jun said, still holding her close. “ We have almost everyone back. Almost... We lost some men out there...”
Mao's hands automatically curled against his chest. Her mind racing, her heart thumping against her chest painfully once more. Asking who they were was almost at the tip of her tongue. She fought against it, knowing how it would sound. Her widened eyes went over to the SUVs, searching for some sign of him. Pi... But he wasn't there. She didn't notice another SUV coming to a stop.
“Their families will be notified...,” Jun patted the back of her head gently. “You should be resting. I'm sorry...”
“Don't say that...,” she whispered against him.
She could hear the pounding in her ears. Where is he? He can't be... Her knees almost buckled when she saw him emerging from behind the line of parked SUVs. His eyes fell on them and a painful lump in her throat appeared at the look of defeat on his face. His eyes remained on them, meeting her gaze as he walked with the rest of the guards towards the back.
She bit her lip, seeing the blood on his white shirt. He'd been hit in his right shoulder, his pallid face showing little signs of pain as he walked with heavy steps. He tore his gaze away from her but her eyes still followed him. Watching his back as he walked further.
Unable to forget the crushed look on his face just before he turned away...
As if all hope was really lost...
**
Pi gave a slight wince when he moved his right shoulder. The gunshot wound from yesterday was making him sore and all the advice and push for him to go take a few days off and let the damn wound heal seemed really inviting as of the moment. Why didn't he stay in the hospital like a normal person? But he didn't want to, claiming that it had been a through and through; no damage really done. Someone pointed out that he lost a significant amount of blood. All he needs is the right amount of sleep, he had countered. They looked at him like he was hopeless.
Hopeless could be the best way to describe him. Because he knew the few days off meant he won't be able to see her. But what would he get even if he sees her? She seemed like she really wanted to erase all that's happened between them.
And seeing her with Matsumoto yesterday...
The bullet was nothing compared to what he felt when his eyes landed on them. The bullet he can take; he's experienced way worse things than that. But that hug between them hurt him to his core... She's turning away from him... And back to Matsumoto... And he fears there's nothing he can really do about it...
There is nothing he can do about it.
She doesn't want any of this... Anything to do with him...
Yesterday came back to him once more. Being around Matsumoto still isn't easy. With all the hate he carried all these years, it will take a while. He'll always remind him of all that he lost... All that he could have had... When his eyes went to him, even with all the chaos around them, it was nothing compared to the struggle he felt inside. The feel of the gun in his hand had seemed heavy as thoughts of his cruel past rushed inside his head. What would it feel like if the source of all his pain was gone from this world? If he could take it out himself? What if he could finally be free from all of it? Pulling the trigger could do that...
But then Mao was suddenly there with him...
And he knew what he wants...
And it was different now...
She's shown him...
But when he saw them together... Does he regret not just taking him out? He was still causing him pain... Even more now that he's allowed himself to feel like there's a chance for him... A glorious chance for him to be free...
But... he doesn't regret it... He didn't want to have her through that way... He can never have her through that way...
He ran a hand through his hair frustratedly.
Can he ever have her still...?
His eyes snapped up when he heard the closing sound of the back door leading from the kitchen. He froze in his tracks. Mao stood there, her expression unreadble.
“You should be in a hospital,” she said in a quiet voice, pulling her oversized sweater closer to her.
Pi shook his head.
“I'm okay.” He looked her over. “You still need rest.”
Her condition was nothing. Her emotions seemed to be on the rise. “Why are you being stubborn about this?”
Pi's brow furrowed slightly. “I really am okay.”
“No, you're not. You've lost a lot of blood. You are not looking so good. Why won't you just take a few days off?” Mao didn't know why she was getting angry.
Pi seemed taken aback as well. His jaw tightened. “I don't need a few days off. It wouldn't make any difference.”
He's still going to feel the pain no matter what.
“Wouldn't make any difference? Why are you taking this so lightly?”
“Because it's nothing,” Pi said without thought. “I'm okay. I've felt worse...”
“Nothing?” Mao repeated. “Nothing? You suck, you know that? You suck so much.”
“What?” Was all he could say; confused.
“I didn't think it was nothing when I heard people were killed. I didn't think it was nothing when I couldn't find you. I didn't think it was nothing when I thought I won't ever see you again. I didn't think it was nothing when I saw you and I just wanted to tell you not to ever scare me like that.” Her chin quivered. “I thought I can ignore you. I thought I am doing the right thing. I don't ever want to get hurt again because I can't trust you. But you just make me want to trust you. You make it so damn hard. So now you know why you suck.”
Pi could only stare at her, his heart going a mile a minute, as she stood there all indignant, her eyes shining from the frustrated tears. He tried to work his throat, swallowing hard.
“W-What do you want?” Was all he could manage; his voice has gone hoarse.
“You.” The frustration, the anger at him all gone. All he heard was the softness in her voice. The tenderness in that one word as she answered him back.
Their gazes continued to be locked. He took a step when they heard the sound of footsteps and the voices drifted to them. He looked over his shoulder and when he turned his head back to her, she was already at the door.
His throat constricted. He wanted to go to her. She caught his gaze and her eyes softened.
There will be another time...
They will have their time...
**
“What is it?” Zun snapped when he answered his phone.
News of another attack on Matsumoto had reached him in Bangkok and things were now all over the place. He had to come back to Japan and put a stop to the circus. Do they actually think he'd do anything like this when he's already under scrutiny for the previous attack?
But his ge never called unlike those times before when he deliberately provoked things.
Yuan's words then came back to him. And they rang true. His ge never tried to contact him and he took it as a sign that he's also convinced he's the one who orchaestrated the ambush once again. He was not putting anymore faith in him. He cursed inwardly. He's got his hands full this time. He has to answer to whatever his ge is about to do. He clenched his jaw.
Not even willing to hope that he and Yuan will see right through this... But he's not going to explain himself to them. He did what he had to do. The consequences he's willing to face...
Someone's toying with him; using him as a scapegoat in off-ing Matsumoto. Whoever had the guts to do that he will find out. If they want to paint him as some madman, then he'll show them just that.
“What?” He asked again, bringing his head back to the present. He didn't hear the words clearly. His brow furrowed as he listened once more.
“Akanishi Jin?” He repeated.
The inside of their car was suddenly bathed in glaring light.
He turned his head, squinting and then his eyes widened.
And the last thing he remembers were the sound of breaking glass, of steel on steel penetrating his senses.
==Listening to Britt Nicole's "Safe" as I was writing this chappie.Gosh,I'm such a geek.I want to make a fanmix for this story.Lol.
