Chapter 24: Closer {Part I}

Ikuta Toma stood beneath the lamp post. The light overhead flickering from time to time. He gave a sniff, jamming his hands into his jeans pockets. He looked up the street then checked the time. He should be here soon.

Moments later, he saw the car’s headlights. He shielded his eyes as it rounded the corner and slowly made its way to where he was. It then rolled to a stop in front of him. He looked around automatically. But there were only shadows around. This was practically an abandoned area. There isn’t much traffic even during the day. The perfect location for them. But technically, no place is truly safe.

He made his way to the passenger side, pulled open the door and slid in.

“You know how risky this is,” he greeted.

Sho turned his head to him. “Hello to you, too. You think I want this? Have you got anything at all?”

The slight grimace he gave said it all.

“Shit. I can’t get to Matsumoto. And now even Nagase’s stepping up his game.”

Toma had been his informant for more than a year now. A few of the charges pinned on Nagase’s group was all due to his help. Something that was really unexpected. A former addict locked up because of a random drug bust by Narcotics; he was a small fry not even worth anyone’s attention. But he’d adamantly claimed he had very important inside information about Nagase that could very well save millions of lives. It was theirs if they’d let him out, drop all charges and give him a ride home.

No one took him seriously as he raged about it. Regarding him as an idiot thinking he could get himself free with these crazy ramblings. It didn’t help that his system was chalk full of drugs and they assumed he was just cooking up conspiracy theories in his head.

He’d arrived at the station and had heard a couple of officers having an amused conversation about it. Curiosity got the better of him and he decided to check it out. He knew it was a risky move. He’d carry the slip for the rest of his career if the information ended up useless. They’d be whispering about it in the halls like a sort of urban legend. But his gut just told him to check it out and it paid off.

Turns out Toma had heard of plans of a bank robbery Nagase had been planning. It took a while to pry the information from him. Having sobered up for a moment, enough to conclude he’d live longer if he kept his mouth shut about it. It had taken everything in him to finally grill the details out of him. A drug run introduced to him by a friend had put him in Nagase’s bar and he’d heard the plans by chance. When he came back from the toilet and walked past one of the rooms in the back.

The lead was solid. And they were able to snatch up five armed men that were already preparing to infiltrate the bank. Though as usual, connections to Nagase didn’t stand. But everything had worked out. Be it purely out of chance. It then made him realize he could use Toma. He could be his eyes inside Nagase’s operation. Though having no position of importance in the group, he can still get wind of rumors, snippets of information. No one would suspect him; he was just one of those men you dismiss, not giving any real thought to their presence. Which makes people let their guard down.

He could really use him.

Convincing him took a while longer. He wasn’t going to risk his life anymore. He wanted nothing to do with it. But he’d observed that as long as he pushes harder, as long as he shows him who’s boss, he’s able to get to him. Offering him a way out of jail had also been a factor. But he had nothing to worry about, as long as he’s working for him, he’d be taken care of.

Staring from his addiction. He had helped him get cleaned up, having pulled a few strings to get him on the road to rehabilitation. Of course, this was more due to the fact he needed him to have his wits with him all the time but seeing how the drugs were destroying his life, he had to step in. He had given him back control over his own life. He found out he wasn’t such a bad kid; somehow the gratitude he has for what he did had led him to be a bit more assertive in helping him. Their relationship had gradually taken a step from being boss and informant to sincerely caring about the other as a brother. This made Toma comfortable enough with him to say he wasn’t sure about leading this life anymore. Something that alarmed Sho; he was losing his best man inside. It would be hard to start from scratch with a new informant. So he convinced him that he understands and he will leave him alone after they get something on Nagase’s plan with the Taiwanese. They’ve been meeting up quite more often than he would like. Something big must be up. This was going to be the last one and then he’s free to go.

Sho was sensing again the restlessness Toma was feeling. He knew he already wanted out but it seemed like there was still no sight of it ending just yet. Knew he wanted to let him know again but just couldn’t do it. He felt slightly for him, but he just needed him to stick for a while longer. He then took an envelope out of his coat pocket and handed it to him.

“What’s this? I already got your package last week.”

“Take it. I know you most probably are running low again. Nagase’s not exactly the ideal boss.” Sho gave a smirk and pushed it into his hands.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

“The moment you get something, give me a call.”

Toma nodded and started to get out before being reminded of something. As if feeling a sudden guilt for not having information at hand. “I’ll try to get something about his cousin Akanishi too.”

“Akanishi?” Sho echoed. He never really gave much thought to him. Toma had mentioned about his return but he had other things to worry about more. He really didn’t care about Nagase’s family reunion.

He had shared Sho’s same disinterest in him too before. But things he’d observed are just too suspicious to ignore. “Nagase’s way too nervous about him. There has to be something there. I’ll let you know.”

Sho gave a nod. Anything that can get to Nagase is fine by him. “Watch your back out there.”

Toma gave another nod and shut the door. Sho watched as he walked away, feeling again that sliver of guilt. Mentally offering him an apology. But he needed to do this.

It will soon end. Soon.

At least that’s what he hoped.

He gave Toma one last look as he blended with the shadows, and then turned the car around.

**

“Yo, Ken!”

“Yoko!” Ken put down the comic book he was reading and turned his attention to Yoko, smiling from the front seat of his car. “What brings you here?”

“Was sent to check on the goods. It’s already been logged, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ken said, looking slightly puzzled. “Isn’t Junpei in charge of that?”

“Well, I’ve been sent instead. He had some other business to do. Wait, let me call him up and have him confirm it.” Yoko’s head disappeared into the car. He emerged again minutes later, looking troubled. “Shit, I left my phone at the warehouse.”

He paused in thought for a while. “I know this is against procedure but just let me in. No one will know. I don’t want to have to drive back out here again.”

“Well…” His ass will be on the line here.

“Come on, help me out. We’re the only ones who really do,” Yoko carefully intoned. He reached inside the duffel bag on the passenger side. He took a brown envelope out. “Here. A little something for your trouble.”

“What’s this?” Ken reluctantly took it and peeked inside.

“That’s on me,” Yoko said as he watched Ken’s reaction.

He gave a smile. He’s in.

**

“Did something good happen to you lately?”

Pi stared at Massu for a while, the deadpan look on his face. “Stop trying to read my aura.”

He walked right past him into their office. Shige was on the phone; gave a smile and nodded at him in greeting. Koyama, his desk behind Shige’s, was leaning back in his chair, laughing at Massu.

“When are you going to change your girlfriend, Massu? Perhaps her mystical powers are rendering you incapable of breaking it off with her. Oooooh,” Koyama said in a hushed voice. Shige guffawed at that as he placed the phone down.

“He probably hasn’t finished his psychic lessons with her. He wouldn’t want to have to pay for them, right?” Shige chipped in. “I kinda miss Ayumi. At least when she was his girlfriend, he always made us pancakes and waffles.”

“Oooh, do you remember when he was dating the golf instructor? Man, seeing him in those fitted collared shirts was hilarious!” Koyama howled.

“You shouldn’t have dated her after Ayumi. You were showing, Massu.” Shige patted his stomach.

“I sense you guys are trying to make a point?” He was shooting them dark looks.

“Yeah, you let your girlfriends rule over your life. But I wouldn’t mind you dating another chef. We are in need of some foodage here!” Koyama demanded jokingly.

“Or maybe a philanthropist,” Shige suggested. “Just enough with the aura crap. You’ve been trying to ‘read’ us for several days now.”

“If you guys took any effort to get to know her, you might not scoff like you are doing right now. She senses things. She knew the reason behind my bad mood yesterday.”

“You were in a bad mood yesterday?” Koyama asked.

“See? You guys didn’t even know it. She took one look at me-“

“It’s pretty easy to figure out the reason. You weren’t able to pig out yesterday.”

Scandalous giggles broke out from the two. Koyama almost fell off his chair when Massu chucked a stapler at him.

“Why did Sho call me in?” Pi called from over his table. He was thankful for a chance to put a stop to the fascinating conversation. That happens a lot in their office. And he was never one to ever join in. “Why is he risking having me come in the station?”

Koyama turned to him. “It’s most probably about that little operation we had. You know how Sho can’t let go till someone loses a finger or a hand or- Anyway, he called Ji Yong in yesterday and-”

“There’s really something different about you-“ Massu started.

“Enough with that,” Koyama and Shige simultaneously interrupted him. “Will you just stop thinking you’re a psychic in training?”

“Or a Jedi Master.”

They all turned to look at the door. Ji Yong stood there, with his usual juice box in hand, grinning.

“What is he wearing?” Pi heard Shige ask Koyama from the corner of his mouth. Both their eyes fixed on Ji Yong.

“I have already given up a long time ago on that question,” came Koyama’s reply.

Ji Yong shuffled in, unaware that his clothes were distracting, settling into the seat in front of Pi’s desk. But Massu would not be pushed into the background.

“Man, you keep cutting me off. Pi might want to hear what I have to say.” He turned towards Pi. Not really expecting anything else but-

“No.”

The three have continued their argument while Ji Yong zipped his juice box, watching on looking amused. He knew Massu was talking nonsense. All this aura crap… He can’t ‘see’ anything. That’s just him getting carried away, as if wanting to prove his potential.

Right?

What the hell is wrong with him? How can he even doubt that explanation? Now, he is really worried. But how could Massu sense that something is different? Because there had been something different just yesterday. The time he spent with her… Most importantly, the reason he actually made it happen…

It was the plan, he firmly said to himself. If Hye hadn’t had to cancel, Massu wouldn’t be picking on his aura right now. His plan would have been underway without all this confusion. Something he never expected could ever happen. Why is he confused? No, he’s not. Next time, he’s staying out of this. He’s leaving it all up to Hye when it comes to her. Though that would be a bit hard; he is with her almost every moment. Damn.

His thoughts went back to yesterday. Maybe he should stop denying it anymore… The connection he made between his mom and her… There was no stopping it. It was evident with how he’d told her the story about his nickname… She was just quietly curious and yet he spilled everything. She’s the only person he’s ever told it to… He had wanted to keep it to himself. It was the only real memory he had with his mom that he truly chose to acknowledge… He knew holding on to the past was useless, but he can’t seem to allow himself to truly let her disappear… Choosing to share with her this memory now… He didn’t understand…

The lingering smile on her lips the whole way home came back to him. Somehow he can’t seem to stop himself from glancing at her. Wanting to see… So does he still really want to leave everything to Hye from now on?

He almost literally gave himself a slap at that. Luckily they were still absorbed in their discussion. Maybe he should just stop analyzing things. He had forgotten how paralyzing emotions can be… This was the most he’d allowed himself to feel. Like Hye once said, he seems to forget he’s human too… Now he was strongly reminded again just how helpless it makes you…

“Good, you’re here,” Sho’s voice broke into his thoughts as he briskly walked in the office. He was grateful for that. Truly grateful. Koyama, Shige and Massu instantly shut their mouths, snapping to attention. Ji Yong gave a salute. Sho was giving rapid orders; the three taking notes. He then asked where Jae Joong had gone and instead of waiting for an answer he gestured to Pi to go with him inside, his eyes falling on Ji Yong.

“Kwon!” Sho’s voice snapped, making the other three jump. “Are you wearing a goddamn skirt?”

“It’s not a skirt. It’s my shirt!” Ji Yong had lifted it up in emphasis.

Sho frowned at him for a moment then let it slide, gesturing to the two once more. He knew it was no use. Departmental dress code never applied to him. The resident tech whiz kid they brought in from Korea had been a bit unconventional right from the get-go. But the higher-ups didn’t have a problem as long as he delivers. Well, as long as he gets him what he needs too. The kid will be in his good graces, in his skirt or not.

“I believe you two are familiar with each other,” Sho said as soon as Ji Yong closed the door behind him. He knew Pi was burning with questions.” Kwon, hand it to him.”

Ji Yong took something out of his jacket pocket and stretched out his hand to Pi. Pi looked at it.

“Why are you giving me a lollipop?”

“Why are you giving him a lollipop?” Sho asked patiently. But this was Ji yong they were talking about.

“It’s what you asked for, right? I’ve already put it inside. We’re all set-up,” Ji Yong grinned. Pi still wasn’t taking the lollipop though.

“What is he talking about?” He directed the question at Sho.

“Kwon will be my second set of ears,” Sho provided the longest explanation.

“You’re bugging me? What the hell? And how come you’re bringing someone else into this without discussing it with me?”

“I am the head of this operation and I can very well do what I think is needed to steer it in the right direction. And after the stunt you pulled the rest of the team into? I’m not taking anymore risks. That doesn’t leave you. At any time.” Sho pointed at the lollipop. “And it might catch something you may miss. You haven’t gotten anything, Pi. What exactly is going on when you’re in there? Where were you yesterday? I couldn’t reach you. It’s like you’ve forgotten what you went in there for in the first place.”

What, he can read his aura too? He felt uncomfortable as Sho looked at him the way Massu had earlier.

He hadn’t forgotten. He was carrying out what he exactly went in to do. Sho just didn’t know that part of the plan. Albeit it was with a little difficulty. A lot of difficulty, he corrected himself as he thought of yesterday again. If only he could stop the flow of thoughts right now. He can’t have Sho think he isn’t up to this anymore. Because he is… He just needed to stop being so damn affected when she was concerned.

“You’re saying you don’t trust me.” His jaw tightened slightly. Well, maybe Sho was right in being cautious… With the way his emotions were playing out… Sometimes it seems he can’t trust himself as well…

This shouldn’t be a problem to him. It never had been a problem for him.

“I’m saying I have your back.” Sho inclined his head at the lollipop. “Take it.”

Pi took it grudgingly. This was going to make things a bit complicated. He can’t have Kwon listening in to every conversation he has. The first thing that flashed across his mind was her.

Shit. He really needs to stop. “Does this have an off button?”

Ji Yong was about to open his mouth when Sho stopped him with a look.

“It doesn’t leave you. Got it?”

Pi just gave a short nod.

“Over and out.”

They both looked to Ji Yong, who looked proud at his little joke. Pi looked down at the lollipop as Sho dismissed him them with a shake of his head at Ji Yong.

It was definitely over for him if he doesn’t figure a way out of this.

**

“So, the off button,” Pi automatically said, as soon as they stepped out. Thankful too that no one else was in the room.

Ji Yong looked at him, a bit unsure at first. He was slightly scared of Sho. And by slightly scared, he means really scared.

“Come on. Knowing someone’s always listening in on the other end is bad enough. I have a right to some privacy here.” Pi waited for him to give in. Ji Yong’s relationship with them was the best out of all the departments in the station. The presence of Jae Joong here had been a factor. He knew he had his heart in the right place, judging from his interactions with the others in the past. He was able to relax now that Ji Yong finally took the lollipop and showed him what he should do.

“You’re lucky I wasn’t able to get the latest equipment,” Ji Yong said, handing back the lollipop. “There’s no off button on that one. But the department hasn’t signed on the budget for that.”

He looked a little glum. Reminded of his chance to tinker with new gadgets being foiled.

“You’re going to report to Sho about every single thing you hear?”

“Yep! Honestly, I was really worried when he called me in yesterday. I thought it was about the accidental hack me and my friend-“ He stopped at once from further incriminating himself. He promptly changes the topic. “I can also track your location with that.”

Pi was glad for that important information. “Why a lollipop?”

Ji Yong gave one of his grins. “I know you like chocolates. But they are no go. So I thought a lollipop would be good; no one will ever check that. Plus you can think of it as a mini microphone.”

He took the lollipop and pretended to speak into it. “Freaky, freaky.”

Pi looked at him, not knowing how to react. Suddenly wishing Jae Joong was here. Thankfully someone poked his head in and relayed that Ji Yong was needed elsewhere. He shuffled out in his blinged-up kicks, meeting Jae Joong who was making his way in. They gave each other a high-five, mentioning about lunch.

“Yo, Pi,” Jae Joong greeted distractedly, a bunch of old files in his hands. He settled down into his seat, making a few small notes in his pad.

Pi pocketed the lollipop. His mood had taken a nosedive. First it was Massu. Now Sho was noticing how he’s a little off. Does he have it written on his forehead? He was way too new at controlling such overwhelming feelings again after all this time… His eyes fell on the yellowed files Jae Joong had brought in. Anything for a distraction. A photo peeking out has caught his eye.

He moved towards his table. Jae Joong still preoccupied with his notes. The file looked familiar. He slowly slid the photo out. It was a group photo. He had looked into this file before. He immediately locked in on her crinkled eyes. He threw it back down as soon as he caught himself. He saw the name on the two other files.

One was the investigation into the disappearnce of Nishikido Kenichi. Some blood, that turned out to be from some of his known accomplices, were found by a group of teenagers in an abandoned warehouse. His apartment building and his lawyer’s office were burned down. The police didn’t do much effort into finding out what happened and if there was a connection or not between the two incidents. He was a scumbag and so his case was pushed far back. He was probably off somewhere enjoying the filthy money he’s acquired. There were more important cases that needed them.

The other was a file on Nishikido Ryo. The last place he was seen was outside a hospital. A blurred traffic photo was all they got. According to reports, men had been chasing a woman down the street before she was forcibly pulled into a car. Resulting in a car chase. Someone very powerful has kept things under wraps. They didn’t get anything from the cars abandoned. There was absolutely nothing when responding officers arrived. Even people from the hospital had no comments all of a sudden. Almost as if nothing happened. They’ve checked Nishikido’s place, but they got nothing. It was still a mystery how someone like him would be caught in this.

There were speculations the two brother have fled together. But what for? They may never find out. No one seems to really care. Till now.

“What’s up with digging up these cold cases?”

“Oh,” Jae Joong grinned, somehow glad to have an audience. “A reliable source tells me someone’s accessed these particular files lately from our database. I thought to check it out coz they have on at least one occasion been linked to both Matsumoto and Nagase. It doesn’t hurt to dig a little deeper, right?”

Jae Joong; the resident hard-worker and achiever. He’s the one who wouldn’t let go of a hunch no matter how small the chances of it being legit. And it pays off most of the time. So seeing him particularly immersed in this, he wouldn’t be surprised if he catches anything new that would shed some light in the cases. He looked at his in-tray. His hands were full, but he knew that doesn’t really stop the guy. Even Koyama and the others jokingly complain to him that he was making everybody else look bad. But he was an asset to the team and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Not that they didn’t resent him the first time he was transferred here. Always referring to him as “The Korean” before. They still do that now but it’s out of love.

“How’s Nagase connected to this?” He tried to be as casual as possible, pointing to Aragaki Yui’s case.

Jae Joong held up the file. “Well, a report jumped out to me. The convenience store in the nearby area had been burglarized a day after her body was found. They cleaned everything out. The security tapes were all gone.”

“A witness described one of the goons,” Jae Joong took out a sketch. “It looked like one of the more notorious men from Nagase’s group. Weird, huh? That’s too small time for them. But eye witnesses tend to be unreliable. It was an old lady who was taking her cat for a walk. But she’s one of those nosy neighbors you sometimes get, so she may be sharper than we think. But it’s all just theories, random details for now.”

Jae Joong absently held up a photo of Aiba Masaki and Aragaki Yui. He saw again how different he had been before. And seeing where everything has led him; trying to find some sort of escape, trying to find something to make him feel alive somehow… He didn’t think he was allowing himself to recover. Because someone still hasn’t paid with their life. He knew exactly how he felt. Not really wanting to be sharing that certain understanding with him… but it was there. They weren’t going anywhere until they have their revenge. His resolve was gradually renewed at that thought. That was the most important thing here. He shouldn’t let himself be distracted anymore.

He was looking through most of the photos again as Jae Joong commented on Aiba. His heart suddenly jumped, quickly snatching up a photo. The officers in charge have taken shots of onlookers surrounding the crime scene. In hopes that maybe the suspect may have decided to come back and survey the chaos he’s caused. He missed this the first time. At the back was a familiar side profile. Half- blocked by a tall high school student but there was no mistaking it… It looked very much like Akanishi Jin. But the photo was too blurred to make a positive identification. Was he just mistaken?

He remembered the way he had looked her, the way he had advanced on her. He could be a predator…

He is a predator.

And the circumstances surrounding him were somehow starting to make sense now…

“Can you get Ji Yong to try and clean this photo up? I need a clear shot of this guy here.”

Jae Joong took the photo, peering at it. If anyone could work their magic on such a photo, it was Ji Yong. He’ll have to see if he can put this on top of that pile of deadlines he has on his desk. This wasn’t exactly top priority. “What’s on your mind?”

“It’s Akanishi Jin. Nagase’s cousin.” Maybe Jae Joong would be able to find something more about his past.

“Cousin?” Jae Joong exclaimed. He’s never heard anything about this cousin of his. Didn’t even know they were keeping tabs on him. He didn’t ask any further, concentrating on the task at hand.

Pi looked at his watch. He’d better be going back. It was the orphanage today. He may have been subconsciously delaying going there again.

“You need to be going back, huh?” Jae Joong said. “If anything comes up, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Yeah…” He really doesn’t feel up to leaving yet.

“Have you met him?” Jae Joong suddenly asked, holding the photo with Aiba in it.

“Once or twice. Why?”

“He’s still looking for the one responsible, isn’t he? I just wondered what it would be like for him if he knew about this sort of lead we had. It’s the only thing concrete that’s ever been found, you know.”

“You know what his plan really is if ever the culprit is confirmed.” A different kind of hell would be waiting for that person.

“Yeah, I know… All these years feeling that helplessness of not being able to do something… That’s going to kill a person’s spirit. If it were me, I would never tell him even if I knew who did it. There would be no going back for him after that.” Jae Joong shook his head sadly. ”I don’t condemn the fact that he’s looking for revenge. His desire to destroy the bastard. Every person has a different way of grieving. But why doesn’t he just move on? Just let go? I don’t think she would like the way he’s lived his life.”

“The only people that can talk about letting go are people who don’t know what it’s like to have that in their lives.”

Jae Joong looked at Pi. At his closed expression. Did his words hit close to home? “Let’s say he had his revenge. Let’ say he’s finally put the bastard down. Then what?”

Then what?

Honestly, he had never thought about that part.

“He still doesn’t have anything. After the satisfaction of revenge, he still won’t have the one thing he truly wants.”

The ringing of the phone cut through the moment. And he was glad for that, suddenly unable to take being in the room. Jae Joong picked up the phone and gave a nod at him as indicated he was leaving.

He walked out of the room, trying not to be affected by Jae Joong’s words.

Trying not to think of that question.

Then what?

Would he ever have an answer?

He never would have thought he wanted one.

**

“Sakurai Sho has a big head that is not proportional with his body.”

“Sakurai Sho’s left nostril is bigger than his right nostril.”

“Sakurai Sho is insecure about his sloping shoulders.”

That would teach him. He was walking around the orphanage with the lollipop in hand. Ji Yong was for sure on the other end, probably trying not to crack up. But let’s see him report everything he’s saying to Sho.

“Are you talking to yourself?”

Pi stopped in his tracks and whipped his head back. He had been absently walking around, trying to find at least one person. But the yard and halls seemed to be deserted. He’d jammed his hands into his pockets only to find the lollipop in one of them. Reminded of his irritation, he decided to abuse Sho. And Ji Yong’s probably bored anyway.

He carefully put the lollipop back into his pocket, out of her sight. His finger automatically went for the off button. He hadn’t noticed he’d walked past her classroom. She took a tentative step forward.

Mao stood by the door, the uncertain smile on her lips. Somehow she didn’t know how to approach him after yesterday. It was always that way. She still couldn’t read his moods; always reminded of how he’d be warm, or more like lukewarm, one minute and the next she just wants to punch him in the face.

He didn’t answer her question; he was being kind of stand-offish again. As if nothing happened. Yesterday is still fresh on her mind, but it seems not the case for him. Maybe she shouldn’t have let what happened have an effect on her too much… It was nothing really…

No, it wasn’t.

It was one of the best days she’s had in a long while. Even just the two hours in the moviehouse could help her through a month. He’s helped her a lot. And somehow she wants to return the favor. She knew that it will be the most difficult thing she’s ever had to do but she really doesn’t mind.

He’s given her something to smile about, laugh about.

Maybe he thinks he doesn’t need anything from her. Or from anyone at all. She was going to change his mind. Maybe she was taking matters into her own hands too much… But she somehow has a feeling it’s exactly what he needs…

They stood there, the atmosphere in the air kind of awkward and stiff. He averted his gaze, not willing to give an opening for conversation. She glanced back inside the classroom for a second. Now she didn’t know how to do this.

“I have something to show you inside,” she said quietly, watching for his reaction. Will he blow her off? She wished he would just say something scathing or annoying so she would at least know how to act. But she reminded herself to be patient. She needed a lot of that with him.

He looked like he was looking for a way out and couldn’t come up with one. He gave a nod. She gave a sort of relieved smile and stepped into the classroom. She could hear him following behind.

“See anything familiar?”

Pi didn’t dare look directly at her shining face. She was really happy about this something. He looked around. The windowsill now had two tanks. The hamster’s home and-

“It’s the turtle,” he blurted out.

Mao grinned up at him. He was careful not to get the full effect. “Yeah, I figured he’d be happier here, too. So I decided to drop by the pet shop earlier today. He looked so lonely. At least he’s made new friends now. Sorta.”

She pointed at herself, at him and at the hamster who was sniffing the air around him again. She reached in and picked up the turtle that was inside his shell again. She was peeking at it, trying to get it to come out.

She looked like she was hesitant about something in her mind. She then put the turtle back in. And without looking at him, she said, “He kind of reminds me of you.”

Pi’s eyes snapped to her. She was still looking into the turtle’s tank.

He worked his throat. “That’s an insult, right?”

Mao looked up at him. He wasn’t ready for the sound of her laughter. The uncomfortable feeling was growing in him.

She was glad he was back to normal. At least as normal as he can be.

“An insult to him maybe?” Her nose wrinkled gently. “I just thought… he can’t be in his shell forever. That would be too much of a waste. So maybe the kids can care for him and get him to come out as much as possible.”

His eyes locked with hers for a moment. He immediately focused his gaze on the turtle. She was smiling down at it, still trying to get it to come out.

“What makes you so sure he wants to come out of his shell? Maybe he should just be left alone.” He was vaguely aware he was being compared to a turtle. But there were more confusing thoughts.

Why was she like that? She’s already experienced so much… And yet, here she was trying to make him see that there was more that this life could offer… Sensing his contempt, his wounds…

How can she be able to believe that still?

“We’ll have to try and see then, right? You don’t know the power of these kids. I can’t wait to see their reactions later,” she chuckled, imagining another raucous during naming time. “You can help too, if you want…”

Something bubbled inside him. “I don’t think I’d want to waste my time.”

Her smile faded a little. “Cynical much?”

“Just because I don’t share your enthusiasm? I’m just stating my opinion.” Why was he being such an ass again? He’s learned he really can’t handle panic well. But she was making those crippling emotions come out again. He can’t have that.

He can’t have her show him how much he was willing to look over…

He can’t allow any changes…

Not with his situation…

“How about a bet?”

Pi looked confused.

“I’m betting we can change him,” Mao said, a determined glint in her eyes. “Whoever loses the bet will do anything the winner asks.”

Pi gave a smirk. “You really want to have to do anything I ask?”

“There’s plenty of time still. Don’t be so sure. I’m already imagining our victory.” She aimed at him a haughty look. He could see the color in her cheeks.

He gave another dark smirk and turned to leave. He suddenly felt the air stifling him. He needed to stay away from her. She was wreaking havoc to his emotions; some he thought he’d already lost way before.

“I am going to win, you know,” she called after him.

He was gone. She gave a sigh at the empty door. Looking back at the shell inside the tank, she then crouched down, eye to eye with him. She placed a finger on the glass, as if poking him through it.

“Come on, little guy. I know you can do this,” she softly cheered him on. “Let’s show the big gorilla what we can do, huh?”

So he can stop closing himself off to everything…

So he can start believing again…

“I just want to help him…” she whispered, poking the glass again.

Pi had been standing just outside the door all this while. He was careful not to be seen, taking a look at her. She was still looking through the glass. He then quietly turned to go when a nearby class had finished their lessons.

Kids' cheerful voices then filled the hall as he absent-mindedly made his way.

His mind still on her.

Chapter 23: Too Little Too Late

“I’m coming with you.”

Kaneshiro Takeshi whipped his head up and turned towards the voice coming from behind. The uninvited audience to his escape was standing at the door, bathed in the shadows cast by the only light coming from the moon outside. His brow furrowed deeper when he took a step forward.

“Go back to bed, kid.” He then promptly turned back to work on the window; a screwdriver in his hand. The toolbox he had swiped from the janitor’s closet at his side. Picking locks was the best thing he’s learned from this place.

“I said I am coming with you.” He really was one of the more stubborn ones.

Takeshi heaved a sigh and turned back to him again. He needed to shake him off or else he won’t be able to get out of here. That was the plan. After weeks of loosening the window night after night, he knew it will be tonight. He’s finally going to be rid of this goddamned place. He didn’t expect to hit a snag like this.

“And I said go back to bed. Or else I’ll drag you there myself.” He knew that was no threat. They hear worse things instead of bedtime stories.

“And risk being heard by the guard? I do a mean cry of help, you know.”

The kid was threatening him.

“I’ve seen you sneaking out here every night. You wouldn’t want all your time and effort to go to waste. So I’m coming with.”

He knew it was no use to convince him otherwise. He doesn’t have the time. Berating himself for being careless. He never expected to be seen. But he should have known… No one really sleeps easy in this place… He turned towards the window once more.

“Suit yourself, but we go our separate ways once we’re outside.” He’ll just deal with it later. Right now, he needs to finish this.

“I somehow doubt that.” The kid gave a smile.

Takeshi stopped again.

“I’ve seen how you protect the smaller ones here. You’re everyone’s “Da Ge”. You wouldn’t have the heart.” There was a hint of pride in his voice. Or was he just imagining that?

He wordlessly went back to work. Da Ge… Just because he’s the one who’s been here the longest… He didn’t deserve to be called that though. If he was everyone’s Da Ge, then he shouldn’t be thinking of escaping. He was needed here. He was the only one that can protect these kids at some point. Was he doing the right thing? They may feel like they’re being abandoned all over again… His hands stopped moving. The confusion tearing at him.

“Are you okay? You know, you’re not doing anything wrong…” The kid was intuitive.

“Come here and help so we can be out of here soon,” he said instead, his hands moving again.

“I need to get some of my um- things first. I’ll be right back.”

Takeshi glanced back, catching him quickly running out the door. Seems like some really important things.

**

Wu Zun carefully made his way up the stairs. Keeping in mind to avoid the step that creaks. He glanced back, feeling a little paranoid. It seems like the walls are always watching him in this house. And he can’t wait to finally crawl out that window and be free.

He’s been shunned from orphanage to orphanage, with no one really wanting to adopt him. Though it was close to a miracle if ever someone finds a decent family. But he was never one of the lucky ones. And so this prompted him to refuse to admit that he needs one. That he needs a family… That he needs someone who will care for him… Or someone he can really take care of…

Until he came to this house.

It was in his second week when he saw the usually quiet Takeshi take a shot at one of the guardians when he found out he was refusing to give medicine to one of the girls who had a high fever. The guardian had crumpled to the floor and he had taken the keys out of his pocket and stepped out. He came back later with the bottle of medicine in hand and a glass of water.

He paid dearly for that act. Suffering a broken nose and a few cuts to his face the very next day. He knew his body didn’t escape any of the beatings either as he would wince slightly when he walks.

It has been a long time since he last saw anyone decent like him. The incident leaving a deep impression. You could say he has developed a sort of admiration for him. He was someone they could look up to. Someone that could serve as an inspiration for them. That maybe hope isn’t lost at all for kids like them…

Maybe someday he can become like him…

Maybe someday he can protect someone like he does…

Maybe that day has finally come…

He tiptoed towards the end of the hall. He craned his neck. The door to the room was ajar. And sounds seemed to be coming from inside. His brows snapped together. A man’s voice. His heart pounded. What could a ten year old do against a grown man? But he can’t freeze right now.

He won’t.

He pushed the door gently and quickly slid in. He could see him. Too focused on his victim he didn’t notice anything. His back to him trying to coax her out of bed; using that sickly sweet voice that isn’t fooling anyone. He couldn’t see her; the pervert blocking his view.

It was the same guy that was being really touchy with her the first time she came here. It was just three days ago. He noticed she was clutching her skirt when he wasn’t taking his strong grip off her shoulder as he talked to one of the guardians. Her knuckles had turned white that time. But her eyes… The strength in them he didn’t expect…

He knew something was very off with that guy from the beginning… Not liking the way his hand would move… Not liking how he was holding her close…

And at that moment, he felt this sudden urge to hurt him. Really hurt him. It just hit him out of nowhere. He had watched him lead her upstairs to the rooms. And he knew he had to protect her. He followed them, shooting really unnecessary questions at the pervert just so he had an excuse to be there. He almost got a whack on his head but thankfully, some of the girls had come back to the room. And she was safe.

At least for that time.

But there was no way he’d be that lucky each time. No way can he protect her with all the vultures around. Unless… Unless he can take her away from here. That was the only way he can think of.

And he knew just the one person who can help them.

Tonight was the time.

He looked around the room for any kind of weapon. His only advantage was the pervert being distracted. He had to act fast.

Something caught his eye and he went towards it.

**

Takeshi heard the hurried footsteps behind him. The window in front of him now wide open. He could feel the cool night breeze outside. He carefully bent down to grab his pack, his body still feeling a little sore.

“I was hoping you’ve changed your mi-“ The rest of his words got lost in his throat.

The kid was standing there, chest heaving, with a sort of triumphant grin on his lips. And he wasn’t alone. A girl was at his side; his hand holding hers.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Let’s go! I might not have hit him hard enough!” He shuffled towards the window. The girl in tow.

“What are you saying?”

His plan was going haywire. He can’t drag two kids into this. He doesn’t have any idea how he’s going to survive outside yet. And what was he talking about not hitting someone hard enough? His eyes instinctively went to the door.

The kid had pulled a chair close to the window.

“You go first,” he said to the girl, offering a hand to help her up.

Forcing them to stay at this point was no use.

“It’s going to be very hard to survive outside. Are you two sure about this?” Takeshi asked.

The kid didn’t answer this time. Just waiting for the girl; still offering his hand. The girl looked to and from the two of them. And somehow a calm appeared on her face; something that was never there before.

She gave a small smile and took his hand. He watched as she climbed up. The kid looked back at him with a wide grin on his face. He gave a resigned sigh.

“Move fast,” he then said, his eyes going to the door again.

**

Takeshi stopped under the tree, leaning against it, trying to catch his breath. The kid was standing in front of him, hands on his knees, coughing. The girl had sat on the ground, watching the night sky.

They were definitely an odd group. He’d imagined he’d be alone in all of this. Enjoying the freedom. Though he admits having someone to share it with wasn’t so bad either. The kid had flashed him one of his grins again, his eyes then going over to the girl.

No. It definitely wasn’t so bad.

But now, he felt the responsibility of taking care of the both of them. Which he wasn’t sure if he’s capable of… It was a big undertaking. Their lives now tied with his. The luxury of screwing up isn’t his anymore.

“What was that all about?” He was referring to the sudden alarm that was raised inside the orphanage as he was making his way out the window. They had run with all their might, stopping here, when they think they have gone far enough, to rest a bit. But they should be moving in a while; they can’t risk it.

“One of the sick perverts inside had it in for Yuan. I found him in her room,” the kid answered forcefully. His anger rising again as the image flashed across his mind.

Takeshi’s eyes snapped towards Yuan’s back. She was still looking up the night sky, as if really seeing the beauty of the stars for the first time. The kid went to her and sat down in front of her.

“Are you okay?”

Yuan looked at him. “I’m okay now. Thanks to you.”

His whole face lit up at that. “Yeah… You’re going to be okay…”

He’s going to make sure of that.

She then turned to look at Takeshi. “Thank you.”

He gave a nod in reply. Yuan looked at him for a moment longer. He suddenly felt uncomfortable, and he’s hardly easily affected by anything. But something about her…

Honestly, there was just something about these two that leaves him feeling helpless on some level. They just had some kind of inexplicable power over him.

Thankfully she had returned to the skies. The kid had slid beside her and enjoyed it with her. Occasionally sneaking glances at her with a goofy grin on his face. He waited a while more, not wanting to disrupt her fun of looking at the stars. But they had to start moving again.

“Let’s go,” he said, pushing off the tree.

“Can we wait a while more?” Yuan requested immediately, her head turning towards him.

“Yeah, we can wait. I don’t think anyone will be coming.” The kid was quick to come to her side.

He looked down the road. Everything seems quiet. He leaned against the tree again. “One minute.”

Yuan looked relieved at that.

“You must really like stars,” Takeshi nonchalantly observed as he too looked up.

“No. I’m watching for UFOs.”

He shared a dumbstruck look with the kid. And then gave a small laugh. He wouldn’t have thought of that answer in a million years. His smile still lingered on his lips. That seemed to have caught her attention more than the possibility of sighting a UFO. She continued to look at him, her eyes crinkled.

“You know, this is really the first time I’ve seen you smile,” the kid quipped. “In all my three weeks there.”

“There really isn’t much to smile about over there, kid.”

“I know that. But even if the other kids were giving you their gifts in thanks, you always have just one expression.” The kid was trying to imitate him.

Yuan seemed to have noticed his discomfort at being in the hotseat. “Well, I bet once you see a UFO, we’ll see you smile again.”

“You really think we’ll be able to see one tonight?” The kid asked, searching the skies incredulously.

“Why not? It’s a lucky night. We’re free. We’ve found a family. And-“

“Family?” The kid echoed.

Even Takeshi had his eyes on her.

“Why? Did I say something wrong…?” She asked, looking unsure. “I just thought that family takes care of one another and it just feels right… We’re all we have… We’re all I ever truly had…”

The kid’s eyes softened at her.

“Family… Yeah… I like the sound of that!” He was beaming right now. He looked to Takeshi, to see what he thought of it.

“We should go.”

“Wei… You should at least say something.” He looked at Yuan who seemed to be regretting what she had said.

She spoke too soon… She shouldn’t have said anything… Now he’ll think she’s just someone who’s going to be leeching onto him… She shouldn’t have attempted to think she can have something wonderful in her life… That was never going to be… Everyone had been right… That no one will ever want her… Even her mom didn’t want her from the minute she was born… She should just accept that fact… No one will ever want to have anything to do with her…

But she just never felt this way before about anyone… Thinking it might be different this time…

Takeshi paused. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings. But he just wasn’t used to all this. Because it was too good to be true… And it was better if they shield themselves from it. They can’t start off thinking of good things that may or may not last… The likes of them… can they really have happiness in their lives? They’ve been deprived of so much… Naturally assuming fate never intended any of that for them…

But then, he didn’t want to see her saddened by his unwillingness. By his fear. So he’ll allow himself to think that they do deserve happiness… Even just a little… Even just for a while…

“If we’re going to be a family, we should have a fresh start then,” he finally offered.

The kid cheered, nudging Yuan. She seemed to be trying not to smile too wide, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, peeking at Takeshi.

“I’ll go first!” The kid’s hand shot up.” I’m Wu Zun.”

“Kaneshiro Takeshi.”

“Are you Japanese?”

“My father was.”

“What was he like?”

“I never knew him.”

Zun seemed to have another question in mind but a look from Takeshi silenced him. His father was a subject he particularly never liked discussing, having walked out of his mom when she was pregnant with him. She never said much about the man, but he knew that even after what he’s done to her, her love for him was still there. She mentions him from time to time, saying how much he looks just like him. He could always see the sadness and longing everytime her eyes fall on him. It was too much to bear… A son bringing that much pain to his mother… And it came to the point she couldn’t take it anymore…

Abandoned at a theme park at six years old… Just because he looks like the man he never knew…

“Xu Xi Yuan.” Her voice carried over to him, pulling him out of his memories.

“She’s Yuan. I knew that!” Zun claimed proudly. “So it’s official. We’re a family!”

He composed himself, feeling a little disconcerted at her steady gaze. “Stop shouting and let’s go.”

He heard the two falling into step behind him moments later.

“See? He’s already being the annoying older brother.”

“I heard that.”

“I wanted you to hear it.”

And they continued to take shots at each other as Yuan listened to them, smiling contentedly. In the end, Takeshi chose to ignore Zun because the bickering will not end if it was up to him.

He looked back after a while. Observing Zun’s wide smile as he shuffled closer to Yuan. And then Yuan who was still closely observing the skies. The two following closely behind him.

Family…

A feeling of contentment was slowly surfacing… Something he thought he would never find…

He just hoped this wasn’t just one of fate’s cruel tricks…

**

“We are going to have a long talk about this later,” Takeshi said through gritted teeth as he sped past the street into the narrow alleyways. He knew they’d managed to run before any authorities could come but he can’t risk it. This was the best way to dodge anyone.

“Will you forget about that and just run faster?” Her voice pumped with energy said close to his ear. Her arms around him held on tighter. She gave a cheer and a laugh, having nothing to worry about since he was giving her a piggyback ride. She was light as a feather so there was no problem but his legs were really eating up the ground. Though he can’t stop, wanting to make sure they were as far away as possible from the scene.

“How did you hurt your ankle anyway?” He said, making a sudden turn.

“I don’t know. It just happened. But this is fun.” He could hear the grin in her voice. She leaned her head against his, really enjoying this free ride.

“Don’t talk about fun when I’m doing all the work.” They can stop soon. Their usual place was coming near.

“Like I said, fun!”

He rounded another corner. Finally. They’re here. He slowed down, pushed open the rusted gate and stepped in. Nobody would think to enter here. It has been abandoned for years and is typically the inspiration for ghost stories to scare the neighborhood kids. That’s why they decided to encourage these stories so they can have a safe place that can serve as a sort of hide-out. Or just somewhere they can be themselves.

He stopped beneath the huge dead tree.

“I’m letting you down now. Let’s take a look at that ankle.”

“Hm? Oh… Okay…” She sounded disappointed, having to leave her comfortable place this soon. She sat on the bench they placed there and Takeshi bent down; holding her ankle and examining it. This made her feel a little better. She bit her lip as her eyes followed his every move.

“Doesn’t seem to be swelling up. That’s good. How does it feel?”

“Not bad,” she said, almost dreamily.

“Good to hear. We’ll still put ice on it later just to be sure. For now, we just wait for Zun so I can knock some sense into both of you.”

“Come on, Ge, we did it for us.”

Takeshi whipped his head back to see Zun coming towards them, all smiles with his hoodie up. The stuff they stole from the convenience store bulging inside his zipped up jacket.

“You got here fast.”

“I borrowed a bike.”

Takeshi’s eyes glinted.

“I’m going to return it, okay?” Zun held his hands up to calm him down. “Look, it’s not as if we stole money from the cash register or I held some kid up at gun point demanding he give me his bike.”

“You were supposed to be in school. Not committing theft. You can’t draw that kind of attention to you.”

“The plan was to be in and out of there so fast no one will even notice us,” Yuan came to their defense.

“Yeah, but instead you botched the whole thing up and announced to the whole store just what your plan was.”

“Okay, so we’re out of practice-“

Takeshi gave him a look.

But Zun went on. “You’re the professional here. We’re not part of Niu Cheng Ze’s crew so we failed. Lamely. We were so lame.”

He aimed this at Yuan, who was trying to signal him to stop trying to provoke Takeshi.

“And you won’t ever be part of that crew.”

“Look, Ge, why do you have to be the only one to sacrifice for us? Why can’t I help you? You’re always trying to carry everything, trying to shield us from-“

“You want to help me? Then stay out of this. I will not have you destroy your future just because you think I can’t handle it. This is what’s needed to be done so you can-“

“Be realistic. You think there’s a chance we will get to know another way of life?”

“Yes. I’m going to make sure of that. Whatever it takes.”

“I can make my own decisions, Ge. You can’t do anything about it.”

“You-“

“Stop this!”

They both turned to look at Yuan. Her expression so troubled she looked like she was close to tears. And both men were weak to that.

“Can we just stop all of this? Today’s our birthday…”

They both looked at each other then averted their gazes. Their birthday… Every year they celebrate it ever since the fateful night their lives came together… It was only appropriate that it would become the only birthday they know… That night they found new life with each other again…

“Yeah,” Zun mumbled. He unzipped his jacket and took out a bag of- “Cupcakes. Yeah… We didn’t have any other choice. It was the bakery or the convenience store.”

“Did you get the candles?” Yuan asked, trying to peek inside.

“Were you even able to get anything?”

“Wei, it wasn’t exactly easy with those girls suddenly coming in.”

Zun gave an amused smirk. “We don’t have candles but I do have matches here.”

“Are you smoking again?” Yuan narrowed her eyes in accusation.

“No! I told you I was quitting!” Zun said so defensively, anyone would see through his lie. “At least we have ‘candles’…”

“All this for some cupcakes and candles?” Takeshi’s voice full of disbelief suddenly asked.

“I wanted to get a few bee- sodas but Yuan made sure I didn’t get them.” She had tripped in time to focus everyone’s attention on him stuffing a bag of cupcakes into his jacket. And from then, all hell broke loose. Toppling a few shelves and breaking a few things as they hurled themselves out. It was just their luck Takeshi and some crew members were about to go in the store when they burst out of there.

Takeshi had taken one look at them and instantly went to action. Telling Zun to run ahead as fast as he can. He’ll take care of Yuan.

“Anyway,” Yuan huffed, wanting to get past that embarrassing ordeal. “It’s our birthday, you know. Every year you’re always the one preparing stuff for our special day. We wanted it to be different this time.”

“Since money’s tight, we thought we’d do it the hard way. And it’s also a chance to really give some effort for it. Much like you always do for us. So it’s our way of giving back to you, Ge.”

It was sweet. In fact, the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him. And possibly the dumbest and most ill-thought of idea in history. He relayed that to them though reiterating that he was very touched.

Yuan gave him a glare. “Let’s just make our wishes now.”

Both sat down beside Yuan. Three of them each holding a cupcake now. They lighted the matches and quickly made their wishes before it’s gone. They blew them out, feeling light-hearted when thunder all of a sudden clapped overhead.

“What did you wish for?” Yuan demanded of Zun; only he would be making such wrath-worthy wishes.

“Wei, wei!” He protested.

It started to drizzle. They hurriedly packed away their birthday cupcakes before they get soaked. They still have to enjoy them later tonight. Takeshi gave Yuan his jacket for her to use as cover. She smiled at him sweetly.

“Is this year’s birthday a bit of a letdown?” Zun thought out loud, brushing away some of Yuan’s wet hair from her cheek.

“Of course not! Our cupcakes rule,” Yuan stood her ground.

“What have you got, Ge?” Zun then turned to Takeshi. There was no way he didn’t have anything prepared.

Takeshi gave a smile. “Already in the apartment. Managed to get a few from Niu Ge’s lunch date.”

Zun gave a whoop of delight. Even Yuan had to join in. Cupcakes do rule, but somehow their Ge rules all the more. In the end, they really do need him.

Takeshi watched, amused as both of them started salivating over the thought of the many food. His eyes fell on the pack of cupcakes. But for him, he knew he’d enjoy them better.

“That Niu Cheng Ze,” Zun suddenly commented. ”At least he wasn’t such a scrooge on the food this time. We get nothing from that guy.”

“We get by,” Takeshi said as Yuan gave a nod in support.

“Yeah, but it could be more, you know.”

Yuan felt the conversation was steering towards dangerous territory again and suddenly placed Takeshi’s jacket down on the bench then stood up. The rain was beginning to come down. The two argued she’d get sick and hurriedly decided they should probably go in and seek cover.

“Oh, come on. When was the last time we just enjoyed the rain like this?” She grabbed both their hands, trying to get them to stand up. They both looked like they think she has lost it.

“Whatever.” Yuan rolled her eyes and dropped their hands.

Something dawned on Takeshi as she stood there perfectly alright. “Didn’t you hurt your ankle?”

“Hm?” She aimed a wide-eyed guilty look at him. No, she didn’t fake an ankle injury just so she could get close to him and be able to hug him as much as she can. A mild frown creased his brow.

“How about that? You have healing hands!”

She gave a laugh; it faded away awkwardly. She peeked at him. Takeshi’s expression was indescribable but a faint smile was lingering on his lips. Zun was watching the exchange quietly. She then stuck her tongue out at Takeshi, looking like she was busted. She immediately walked away from them to the middle of what used to be a front yard. Stretching out her hands; the feel of the rain making her feel giddier. She looked up, laughing some more. Trying to let the rain wash away the shyness and embarrassment she felt just now.

“Wei, maybe the UFOs are going to come pick up the crazy girl now!” Zun joked out to her. He guffawed as she shook her fist at him, curling her lip.

They remained in their seats, laughing with her. They’d never think of her as crazy as they watched her light up even the gloomiest day. Their laughter turned to light chuckles and then faded to just a quiet moment between the two of them. She was so full of life and love. Both would do anything just to see that every single day of their lives…

“She’s mine, Ge.”

Takeshi’s head snapped to him. Zun’s eyes lingered on Yuan for a while longer and he turned to him. No hint of the usual cheekiness, the usual light-heartedness from him. He was serious. This was the most serious he’s ever seen him. But ever since, he has known full well that whenever it comes to Yuan…

He gave a smile. “Don’t let her hear you say that.”

Zun didn’t take his eyes away from him. He needed an answer. He knew that his Ge would do anything for him… And doing this to him, he understands is such a low move. But Yuan was the one thing he can’t give up on… He just can’t…

Takeshi clapped him on the shoulder. “You don’t think I know?”

He gave another smile.

He had his answer.

“Come on, you babies!” Yuan suddenly appeared in front of them, pulling on them again. “ Don’t just leave me there. I’m starting to think that I really am crazy.”

Zun stopped putting up a fight. Takeshi still wasn’t budging, telling them to go ahead. Zun suddenly grabbed Yuan and whisked her off, as she shouted at him to let her go. Takeshi watched as Zun stood there, his arms still locked around Yuan, refusing to let her go as she tried many attempts to get away.

Takeshi still had a smile on his face. Yuan was laughing right now, not having the strength to fight anymore. Zun pretended to give an evil laugh. He suddenly tore his gaze away from them, his smile wobbling. His eyes falling on the cupcakes once again. He reached out, trying every excuse not to see what they were bickering about now. He took a cupcake out. He heard Yuan’s surprised shriek. Zun had suddenly lifted her up.

He took a bite of the cupcake.

It was hard for him to swallow with that lump in his throat.

Yuan had broken free and was chasing after Zun now, who was laughing his head off. She was intent on causing him bodily harm.

He took another bite.

He can’t enjoy the cupcakes anymore…

He didn’t think he can really enjoy anything anymore…

**

“He took her!” Zun bellowed as he burst through the door of their apartment. “Did you even hear me, Ge?”

Takeshi calmly followed him in and closed the door. Zun was pacing up and down the living room, shaking hands raking his hair.

“That fucking Eddie Peng! I knew he’d be trying to get me after Niu Ge gave me his area. Fucking bastard! He set me up! The fucking bastard set me up! And now they’re taking it out on Yuan! We have to go find her now!”

Takeshi stopped him from getting to the door and firmly pushed him back. “Do you want to get yourself killed?”

“Fuck, Ge! I don’t care! How can you be so calm about this? There’s no time! We have to get to her this fucking minute! I don’t want to imagine what he’d do to her!” The frustrated tears welled up in his eyes. “This is all my fault… My fault… If I hadn’t provoked Peng… He knows how I am with Yuan. Shit! Let’s go, Ge!” He attempted to hurl towards the door once again.

“You aren’t going anywhere. Not when you’re like this. You’re too agitated. You’d only make things worse for yourself. Are you listening to me?” Takeshi’s usually calm voice bit with the panic he was trying to suppress.

“We should-“

“We are not doing anything.”

“What the hell are you talking about? This is Yuan! I am going to take the motherfucker down even if it’s the last thing I do! If you want to stay here-“

Zun suddenly crumpled to the floor. Takeshi stood there, his gun in his hand. Using it to knock him unconscious. He pulled his body up, supporting it as he took Zun to the room. He had to do this. Or else things are going to get uglier. His volatile temper is a weak spot. His emotions all over the place. So he can’t be there…

He wasn’t going to risk letting Niu Cheng Ze get away with this…

He was going to make sure he regrets laying even a finger on Yuan…

He placed Zun on the bed. Took one last look and headed towards the door.

His eyes glinting with barely contained rage.

**

“What the hell is this, Ge?”

Takeshi whipped around after he’d carefully laid Yuan on the bed, pulling the blanket over her. Zun stood there, anger twisting his face. His eyes going all over Takeshi; blood covering the front of his shirt. His knuckles looking like raw meat.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” His eyes flashed. “You already knew where he was. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Outside.”

Zun turned around as soon as he heard the door click. “Well, tell me. Was this another way for you to come out the hero again?”

“I know you’re feeling particularly vengeful right now but you fucking watch your mouth.” Takeshi snapped. “In case you didn’t notice, Yuan is fine.”

Zun seemed to be trying to compose himself, trying not to lash out right now at the frustration he feels. It was always like this. He was the hotheaded little brother who can’t seem to do things right.

“Is he dead?”

Takeshi gave a nod. He knew whenever Niu Cheng Ze was up to his perverted ways he’d have less guards with him. Just the few he always goes with everywhere. He’d learned that from one of them when he’s particularly had too much to drink. He’d known he always had his eye on Yuan. And he wanted to be sure he’s got all bases covered if anything was to happen. So he investigated a bit. And it paid off.

He knew their guards will be down, thanks to a few bottles they always have. He’d quietly snuck in and gotten rid of them. Hearing Yuan’s screams as he neared the door to the bastard’s room was more than he could bear. He’d kicked the door in, going straight for the bed, slugging Niu then pushing him to the floor.

His eyes fell momentarily on Yuan, clutching her torn clothes to her, shaking and sobbing. Her lips bruised, blood trailing down her chin, her hair in disarray. She lifted her head up, biting her lip to stop from crying; trying to convey to him that she was going to be okay.

Still thinking of him at this time…

Takeshi’s eyes flashed and he went for Niu, who had run out in panic, forgetting his gun; calling out to his men who will never answer. He walked out, tightening his hold on his gun. He’d caught up with him, dodging the fist he threw at him. He wasn’t so lucky, as his fist connected with his jaw. And the moment he came face to face with him, every ounce of control in him was gone.

He could have just shot him in the head. Be done with it. The vile bastard would never hurt Yuan again. But the rage in him wanted to see him suffer. Putting a bullet in him was making it easy for him.

He didn’t know how long he’d smashed his face in with his fist. Niu laid in a pool of his own blood; every inch of his face broken. Takeshi slowly stood up, breathing heavily; the pain in his hand seemed miles away. He reached for his gun.

Then put a bullet in Niu’s head.

“You know I wanted a piece of the bastard. You know how helpless I felt. And you know exactly what I was feeling, that I too needed to put a bullet into him myself.” Zun’s voice shook, his temper rising again. “What was this really about, Ge? Was this just really all about saving me?”

Takeshi’s eyes snapped to him. Honestly, it had been about that. It had… But the moment he saw Yuan… His own selfish agenda had become clear. He wanted to kill the bastard himself. And he wanted to do it alone. He wanted him to see and to feel every bit of rage coming from him. He knew Zun must be feeling the same way. But he just knew he had to do it himself. Niu was his to destroy.

“We have to get out of here. They can be coming anytime now.” They were never going to be safe again. Just because of his vendetta. But he still isn’t regretting it. He needed to correct this though. They had to go and hide first.

“Tell me!” Zun suddenly grabbed him by the collar. His face inches apart. The hurt and anger in his eyes burning into him. He can’t do this right now.

“We need to get Yuan to safety-“

“Just fucking tell me!”

Takeshi pushed him away hard. His own anger brimming. “She’s yours, Zun. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’ll say it again, she’s yours. I needed her safe. And I won’t forgive myself if I allowed anything to happen to her just because you wanted a taste of blood. You know very well you wouldn’t have been any good out there. I did what I had to do. And you know it.”

The door to their apartment suddenly burst open. Takeshi immediately reached for the gun behind his back. But too late. There were several guns pointed at the two of them. Dai Li Ren slowly emerged from behind his men.

“They had nothing to do with it. Let them go,” Takeshi quickly said.

Dai Li Ren signaled his men to lower their guns. “I just wanted to talk to you and discuss your new position in the group.”

Takeshi and Zun frowned at each other, aiming their confused look at him. He gave a chuckle.

“I’ll give you a moment to clean up. Go to the car when you’re done.”

They were still standing, staring at the once again empty room. The surreal feeling still wasn’t lifting. Takeshi snapped to it.

“Take care of Yua-“

“You don’t need to tell me,” Zun instantly shot back. He went towards the door.

“Are we okay?” Takeshi asked.

Zun stopped and turned around. His jaw tightening. As if it was a massive effort, he finally said, “We’ll be okay.”

Takeshi watched his back as he entered Yuan’s room. He then looked at himself, covered in blood. He moved his hand and winced a bit. He absently headed towards his room. Will he be able to wash everything away?

His eyes went once more to Yuan’s door. Zun’s expression flashed in his mind.

He hoped so…

He really hoped so…

****

Yuan continued sniffing as she closed the first aid kit in her lap. She checked his bandages again. She then got up and padded towards the desk so that her back was towards him, placing the kit on top.

“You would think he was trying to overwork you or has another idea in mind…”

Takeshi buttoned up his shirt, his eyes on her back. He hasn’t uttered a single word ever since he came back bloodied. It was nothing serious though; most of the blood wasn’t his. Just that one of the bullets went through his arm. Their doctor has already patched things up for him. But Yuan wanted to help change his bandages.

And the silent tears had started rolling down as soon as she cleaned up some of the blood. Letting out her frustrations that have been weighing down on her the past week. Mostly about Zun, who was still out there getting into God knows what. Ever since the night she was kidnapped, he’s being extra persistent in creating a name of his own. Somehow wanting to surpass Takeshi after Dai Li Ren gave him his old position in the group.

“He’s being really stupid,” was what she had vented. “You know he looks up to you more than anyone in the world. He’s always wanted to be like you. But he’s taking things too far. We don’t see much of him anymore these days…”

Worry had creased her brow. Zun was still his cheeky self most of the days but she just wants him to be safe… Not always looking for trouble out there… And when she came to her suspicions about Dai Li Ren wanting to get rid of Takeshi… The tears came faster. She knew she can’t do anything to stop Takeshi from just quitting. It wasn’t the way of their world. He never denied nor confirmed her suspicions but he’s been coming home wounded almost every week. That was way too obvious.

Takeshi slowly got up from the bed. She sniffed again and wiped the tears with her hands, took a deep breath then asked what he wanted for dinner.

Her tears were his weakness. The moment he sees her like that, he just freezes up. Not knowing what to do; the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. He had just watched her as she went on her rant. Because his mind was all a blank. Any comfort he knew he needed to offer her just flies out the window.

He carefully made her way to her as she rattled off what she could prepare for him. He stopped behind her, just inches away. He still didn’t know what to say. Still didn’t know if there was even anything he can do. Wishing she didn’t have to be experiencing any of this.

“I’m sorry.”

Yuan slowly turned around, her eyes a little red. She gave a shaky smile.

“If you’re really sorry, just tell me what you want for dinner.” She had wanted to say he should quit. But she knew that would just be wasted breath.

He remained silent.

“No? Well, then… Can you hug me?”

Takeshi managed to cover his thunderstruck look. Yuan waited for him. He didn’t move.

“Oh come on, it’s just a hug. I feel really bad right now. It’s the least you can do.” Yuan suddenly threw her arms around his neck and pressed against him, closing her eyes.

It wouldn’t be just a hug for him… That he knew… He just has to let go now but the scent of her hair clouded his senses, his arms had circled around her waist and pulled her closer.

“Ow. You’re hurting me,” Yuan chuckled as she leaned back. He didn’t know his own strength. Having her in his arms like this…

Their eyes locked. He knew he should stop but he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. He wanted to take her in. All of her… Yuan’s eyes softened at him. The way he was looking at her… It gave her the courage to stand on tiptoe and brushed her lips against his.

Takeshi’s eyes widened. She gave a sweet smile and he felt her lips again. But he suddenly let go of her and held her back. Yuan looked at him, confused. She couldn’t read his expression.

“Yuan…” It was taking everything in him to say it. “This isn’t what I want.”

Yuan continued to stare at him. “Liar.”

She’s seen the way he looks at her… Saw the longing in his eyes just now… It was the worst lie he’s ever had to say to her.

“I’m sorry if you’ve misunderstood, but there’s nothing here. I’m sorry…” He quickly turned around. She could easily see through his lie if he stays any longer. He loses all control when it comes to her…

“We’re not done here!” Yuan’s anguished voice came. She pulled him back and stepped in front of him. They are going to talk about this. “What is it? Why are you lying to me?”

“I am not lying, Yuan. There never was anything. There never will be anything.” His heart was pounding so hard. It was agony to have to say this. She has to see that what she wanted was impossible. She has to see that soon… It was bad enough to always remind himself…

“I love you.”

His heart felt like it was ripping out of his chest.

“I love you… And I know how you feel about me…”

“Yuan-“

She had suddenly grabbed his collar and pulled down, kissing him with all the longing, all the love that was bursting out of her. It had always been him… From the moment she’s seen him smile… She had wanted his smiles all to herself… She thought she could… But he was pushing her away again…

“Yuan… Stop.”

The tears burned in her eyes. Her knees wobbled. She felt so weak. His hands slid off her. He was walking away from her. Walking away from her without another word. She covered her mouth as the tears fell. She stood there, the sobbing starting to wrack her body.

How could he say there was nothing between them…? She heard the door close. What was left for her now…?

Takeshi stood there, his hand still on the doorknob. Everything seemed to be hazy right now. He blinked back the tears as he heard her from inside.

“I love you.” Her voice came back to him and it ripped at him again.

He stopped himself before he did anything stupid. His hand tightening on the doorknob. He placed his forehead onto the cool plane of the door.

She wasn’t his…

She wasn’t…

**

“Thank you for gracing us with your presence tonight.”

Zun looked up. Yuan stood there, wrapped in her favorite kimono cardigan, smiling. Zun patted the space beside him, inviting her to sit down. He was sitting on his balcony floor, deep in thought before Yuan decided to distract him.

“I always come home for dinner,” Zun grinned as Yuan slid down beside him.

“Wolfing down your food is not dinner with us.”

Zun chuckled. “Ge’s gone out?”

Yuan’s smile faded a bit. “Yeah… He never stays for long these days…”

“Well, he’s the Da Ge now.”

Or he’s just avoiding her. It’s been going on for three months now. Which was really irking her. She thought of confronting him with it. But it was a miracle they were able to bounce back from that incident… And she didn’t want to add any more grief to the two of them… He’s got a lot on his plate now… Ever since he’s stepped up when Dai Li Ren finally showed his true colors…

“So you should come home even more often now,” Yuan said pointedly. But things were far better now than they were before with Zun. She gets to spend more time with him now. Sometimes he’d even go shopping with her or accompany her when she’s craving for sweets. He was more relaxed now and their time together was the most enjoyable.

“Wei, I still need to do my work. It’s not only Ge that needs to take care of things.” She sensed a little bitterness on his part. As if her comment suggested he wasn’t that important enough.

She hit him on the head. He cried out in pain. “You don’t always have to prove yourself.”

Zun rubbed his head vigorously. “With Da Ge around, yes, I do.”

Yuan gave a sigh and mumbled something like “Men.” She turned to him, “I don’t get why you think you have to. I like you being just you.”

“Stop trying to comfort me for being a failure. Ow!”

Yuan had hit him again, giving him a stern glare. “I would never think that. Do you know who I like best in this world?”

She didn’t wait for him to answer. “You.”

He seemed genuinely surprised at that, staring at her. And then composed himself joking, “O-Of course I knew that. Who else would it be?”

“I’m serious, Zun. You’re the first person to ever notice me and take care of me… I will never forget that…”

Zun’s eyes went to her. Taking in her soft smile as she bumped him gently with her shoulder.

“So stop beating yourself up.”

His eyes lingered on her face for a while before he looked away and smiled. He then put his head on her shoulder, pretending to be all shy. “Awww… You’re so sweet. Is that a confession from you?”

She pushed him away. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Zun laughed out loud as Yuan gave him her usual glare, trying not to smile. His eyes went to those lips of hers.... He suddenly leaned forward and tasted them. He’s always wanted to do this… Always… His heart raced and his ears pounded. He slowly pulled back.

Yuan was looking at him in surprise, almost looking sad. He leaned in again. Yuan’s hand pushed him. “Zun…”

He took her hands in his and pulled her to him, the warm feeling at the pit of his stomach growing as he captured her lips once more. This time she didn’t break away immediately.

“Zun…” She stopped herself from going any further. What was she doing? She can’t do this to Zun… To herself… She raised her eyes to him. His hooded gaze still on her, waiting… But she needed to learn to forget… And maybe… Maybe he can help her…

She slowly leaned in and brushed her lips against his. Zun instantly grabbed her to him, collecting her onto his lap. He deepened the kiss, tasting every inch of her. She met his passion, her hands lost in his hair. He coaxed her to let him in and he gave a moan when she listened. He pulled down her cardigan, his hands roaming all over her. He suddenly pulled back. Yuan looked at him, breathless.

“Are you sure…?” He suddenly asked. He had to know…

Yuan lowered her eyes. Her answer… “I don’t know, Zun… I…”

This was a mistake. She needed to wake up. She can’t do this… Not while she’s this confused… She started to slide off him. Her heart jumped when he pulled her back.

“I can’t stop,” he then said achingly. He cupped her jaw and pulled her to him, ravishing her. The moment she was about to go, he realized he really didn’t care at that point. He just wanted her… He needed her…

“Yuan…,” he whispered roughly and she answered him back.

And all he knew was her…

**

“Morning.”

Yuan looked back just as she was reaching for the doorknob. Zun was propped up on his elbow, his hair tousled, the sheets around his waist. He was looking at her with a smile.

She returned it. “Morning… I thought you’d be sleeping in for a while. Breakfast?”

“Sounds good.”

Yuan gave another smile and turned the doorknob. Zun watched as the door closed behind her. He laid back down and observed the ceiling for a while. And then broke into a giddy grin as he covered his face, feeling embarrassed at the schoolboy thoughts.

**

Yuan stepped towards her room when her heart dropped to her stomach. Takeshi was coming out of his, concentrated on the newspaper in his hand. He looked up and saw Yuan standing outside Zun’s room. Her cardigan in her hand, her hair in slight disarray. She was biting her lip, a sign that she was nervous about something. And then as if deciding there wasn’t any reason she should be feeling that way, she straightened up and headed for her room.

“Morning,” she greeted. Why is he making her feel like a high school girl caught red-handed right now?

“Come out soon and have some breakfast.”

She didn’t dare look back, biting her lip, feeling a sudden frustration. Was she just imagining the hurt he had in his eyes? She shook herself, told him okay and quickly sought the refuge of her bedroom. There will never be anything between them… That’s what he said…

That’s what he said…

Takeshi heard the door to her room close. He stood there for a moment then went downstairs, towards the kitchen. He laid the newspaper on the table and absently went towards the coffee machine. He took out his cup but never poured the coffee. Holding it in his hand as he stared into space. He didn’t know for how long. He was only jolted back when he heard Zun coming up behind him, cheerfully asking him if he wanted pancakes.

**

“Bali, here we come!” Zun kissed Yuan’s forehead excitedly as he placed the tickets in front of her. “One week of just sun, sand and surf!”

Takeshi sipped his morning coffee, smiling at how ecstatic Zun was. Yuan was checking the tickets asking him if he was serious. She thought he couldn’t get away.

“I planned ahead for that. Took me two months but it’s all good. I got us the resort’s top suite. Everything’s taken care of.”

Yuan was smiling widely at the tickets. She still can’t believe it.

“Don’t I get a reward for that?” Zun pouted. He leaned down and gave her a kiss. This time on the lips. Lingering for a while.

Yuan pushed him playfully, her eyes flicking towards Takeshi for a moment. Takeshi slowly got up and said he needed to go, checking his watch. He had a meeting and it would take an hour to get to his associate’s villa.

Zun waved good-bye and cheerily continued talking about their itinerary. Yuan shared in his excitement as she suggested what they can do. Her eyes though flicking once again to Takeshi’s back as he rounded the corner and was gone.

**

“I thought I never have to do this again.” Yuan carefully packed away the first-aid kit. “Did you find out who did the ambush?”

“I have an idea.”

“Thank God there were no serious injuries.” She took in the scratches on his cheek, his arms and the wound on his shoulder. Luckily the bullet just grazed him. It’s been a while since she last had to tend to him. Being the feared boss right now had its advantages. The protection he has around him now makes her feel a lot more at ease.

“Zun is still in the lead though when it comes to getting injured. He never listens. Always so impulsive. I should think twice about being willing to take care of him.” Yuan shook her head.

Takeshi carefully put on his shirt. Yuan let go of the kit and helped him. His eyes fell on the tickets on her desk. His heart gave a twinge. He’s endured it for half a year now… This was no time to suddenly give in… He can take it… He should take it…

“Where is he?”

“He needed to be in Gao Xiong. Something happened with a shipment. I’m not sure. He’ll be back tomorrow.” Yuan helped him with the last button of his shirt. “How’s the shoulder?”

“It’s okay. It’s really nothing.”

“This coming from the man who almost got killed today,” Yuan chided him. She then gave him a slight frown. “What is it about the tickets?”

“What about them?”

“You can’t seem to take your eyes off them.”

“You’re imagining things.” He started to stand up.

Yuan’s face lit up in understanding. “You’re jealous!”

That stopped him cold. It was the one thing he was refusing to let into his brain. “What?”

Yuan got up, chuckling. “You’re jealous we get to go on vacation while you’re stuck here facing every grumpy-looking associate you have.”

He was able to breathe now. He was afraid at first where her thoughts were going. Yuan’s smile faded. She looked at his expression.

“That’s it, right?” Her heart squeezed. Did she really want to hear the answer? Did she really want to know what he was really thinking of right now?

That’s it. It didn’t bother him that they were going off somewhere just the two of them… It didn’t bother him that Zun was going to have her all to himself… It didn’t bother him that she wasn’t his…

“Don’t look at me that way,” Yuan said, softly pleading. She has never felt so scared in her life… because she knew that just one word from him, she’s going to throw all common sense out… So she can’t have him look at her that way…

What was wrong with him?

“I didn’t-“ He looked a little lost. He didn’t finish his sentence and just got out of the room. He was losing control… Emotions running high… He quickly closed the door behind him.

Yuan drew in a shaky breath. Her heart was in her throat. She didn’t want to imagine what would happen if… if… She lowered herself down on the bed, stopping herself from thinking about him any more. She jumped a little when the knock came from the door. She stared at it.

She hesitated for a moment. And then swung the door open. Takeshi stood there, the expression on his face, heartbreaking.

“Don’t go.”

The tears started welling up in her eyes.

“I love you…” He stepped forward, cupped her jaw and gave her the softest kiss… Yuan’s eyes fluttered close, the tears rolling down her cheeks, as she wrapped her arms around him.

They slowly made their way inside, Takeshi holding her closer to him. The door slowly swinging shut.

**

Yuan gave a giggle as she took Takeshi by the hand and led him to the door. A sudden craving for ice cream as soon as they woke up made them leave the comforts of her bed. Takeshi was complaining why she had to put her robe on him. But the moment they stepped out the door, reality came crashing down hard. Yuan stifled a frightened cry when her eyes fell on Zun, sitting on the couch, his gun placed on the coffee table.

She had gone totally numb as Zun observed them. His face void of any expression.

“What the fuck is this?” His voice was calm. More dangerous in every way.

Takeshi stepped in front of Yuan. His eyes on Zun the whole time, watching his every move. His gesture seemed to make something in Zun snap. In a swift move, Zun had his gun pointed at Takeshi’s head.

“Zun!” Yuan called. She wanted to shield Takeshi but he was pushing her back, making her stay put.

Zun’s hand shook. Tightening his hold on the gun further. He clenched his jaw, his eyes burning with the rage and hate consuming every inch of him. Watching the two of them, laughing like that as if he didn’t exist; making him look like a fool. How long has he been a fool?

“So, was it always like this? Every time I don’t come home you are enjoying my girlfriend?” He yelled at Takeshi.

“Zun, no! Please put the gun down. Let’s talk about this!” What could she say? What could she possibly say to ease the pain? There was no way… She knew what she did was unforgivable… But she couldn’t help it… It was Takeshi…

It had always been Takeshi…

“It isn’t what you think…“

“Yuan had always been faithful to you-“

“Faithful? You call this faithful?” His voice screamed of hopelessness. His eyes snapped to Yuan; a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Zun… I’m sorry… I-“

He let out an anguished scream and swung a fist at Takeshi. He didn’t fight back. Didn’t shield himself. Taking every blow. He knew he deserved it. Knew that no matter how much he hurt him, it could never compare to what they did to him… Takeshi went down. Yuan tried to stop Zun but he pushed her away. She crumpled to the floor. Zun lunged for him again. This time Takeshi’s fist connected with his jaw. He can hurt him all he wants, but he can’t do that to Yuan. Takeshi wiped the blood from his mouth as he slowly got up. Zun stood there, unmoving, as if the blow woke him up to his senses. Takeshi went to Yuan. She supported him; the cut on his face was getting worse.

Zun watched them darkly, breathing heavily. The rage still in him. Yuan stepped in front of Takeshi.

“Zun… Please… Let’s talk. I-“

He turned to leave. Yuan went after him. She grabbed her arm and gave a yelp as Zun instantly pulled away.

“Don’t touch me!” He yelled. The tears in his eyes falling. He looked at her achingly. How could she do this to him? How could they do this to him?

How pathetic was he? The two people he loved most in this world… betraying him like this… He was beyond pathetic… And they were going to pay…

“Zun… Please… Let’s just talk…” Yuan’s voice shook with desperation.

“This isn’t over,” he said ominously.

He took one last look at Yuan and headed out.

Yuan whimpered and sobbed into her hands. She felt Takeshi’s arm around her. She looked up at him. His troubled expression twisting her heart.

What should they do…?

==

“What’s the reason behind that frown, Tabi?”

Her voice pulled him out of his reverie. Yuan’s face came into view in front of him. Her eyes crinkled as she tried to massage away his frown.

“Nothing. Just- Do you really have to call me Tabi?“

“Why not? I think it’s cute. TabiTabiTabi.” She gave a laugh, leaning against him as she reached for the remote under the sheets.

“It just sounds weird. And don’t ever tell anyone what it means okay?” He pleaded with his eyes.

“That it means my Takeshi Baby?” Yuan laughed some more at the expression on his face.

He hid his face behind a hand, still getting embarrassed with just the two of them.

“So what were you thinking of just now? Is it about the investigation? You said you’d look into it, right?”

Takeshi grabbed at the reason she offered. He gave a nod. He didn’t want her to know he’s been thinking of the past again. Coming face to face with Zun always does that. She didn’t need to worry herself too much. Keeping her mind off Zun would be best.

“How’s it coming?”

“Still no progress. Jun and his father have made every effort to bury what happened.”

“Don’t stop. We need to understand what happened between them… Their fathers’ deaths are the most serious to happen in their lives… And it was around that time everything suddenly changed… I would have thought we’d have something by now…”

He left her to her thoughts for a while.

It wasn’t true that he never found out anything. He had already received most of the reports and had pieced together the details. He had his own theories on what could have happened. But only Jun has the answers. He was just waiting for the right time to take it to him. Afraid of what he might think if he knew they were digging into their past.

He had only done it at Yuan’s request. She had this thought that knowing what truly happened can help them mend Jun and Mao’s rift. She truly was attached to the two; hating seeing them grow further and further apart. But if it was up to him, their past should be just left to them. They hid it for a reason.

And only they themselves can truly change things. It was a matter of heart. If one can truly recover from the past… No matter how horrible… Then they have a chance… But if not…

He didn’t want to give Yuan any false hope just yet…

“When it comes to their hearts, you know there isn’t anything we can really do, right?” Takeshi quietly asked.

Yuan gave a small smile and nodded. She slid down and placed her head on his shoulder.

“I know that… I do… But maybe we can help in some small way…”

Takeshi took her hand in his and patted it.

She could be right… Maybe they can still help…

But they can’t hold on to that too much… Looking at their own story, he’s learned fate always has its own plans…

“We’ll see then.”

“I just hope it’s not too late…”

**

Pi stood in front of her office door. Holding the tray with her bento. He was just going to bring in her lunch. Why does it have to be him this time? And does he have to wait for more than a full minute to finally reach out and open the damn door? Though he just wanted to ready himself before he sees her. Whenever he was in her presence, that uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was always there. He didn’t understand why. He just wanted it gone.

Maybe he’s just not used to anyone taking one look at him and then instantly knowing what he was feeling. Or what he would need…

He could not take his mind off the chocolate incident yesterday. He wondered if she even remembers doing that for him… Why would he even really care if she remembers or not? But she never seemed to think anymore of it… She didn’t even once look at him on their way home… Was it just a show of charity on her part? Did she even really mean it?

Okay, so that’s two minutes he’s standing here like an idiot now.

He straightened up, reached out his fist, hesitated again then knocked. He took a deep breath before pushing the handle down and stepping in.

She was sitting behind her desk, absently staring at something on the computer screen, seeming to be lost in thought. Tapping what seems to be a business card on her chin. Holding her cellphone in her other hand. She didn’t seem to notice him as he placed the tray in front of her. She took a look at her phone, at the card and then went back to tapping it thoughtfully on her chin.

He’s always wondered what she could be doing in here. Her interior design office never really opened for business. Seems like she’s lost her passion for it, right after Matsumoto Kousaku had died. But if she wasn’t out shopping or out in coffeeshops just reading her books, she’d be here. And right now, she’s preoccupied with Hye’s business card.

His lips quirked darkly. She’s really craving for something different. And it felt like he could connect with her, but he instantly squashed those thoughts. He needed to get to work. A little push in the right direction was in order here.

“Can I help you with anything else, Miss?”

Mao looked around, slightly startled that someone had been there with her the whole time. Her eyes fell on the lunch tray. “No. That would be it.”

She didn’t seem to notice it was him. Wait a minute, was that even important? She continued to look at the card.

“W-Wha-?”

He had snatched the card from her hand and was now looking at it. A curious frown appearing.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She demanded, getting to her feet. What was happening here? She tried to grab it back but he’d taken her cellphone this time and stepped back. Starting to dial in the numbers.

“What the hell?” Of all the nerve… She went around her desk and to her horror someone had picked up his call.

“Miss Yoon? One moment please.”

She stared at the phone he was handing to her, still not really sure if all this really just happened.

“Miss Yoon is waiting on the other line.” He pushed the phone into her hand this time.

“H-Hello?” Mao quickly held it to her ear, glaring at Yamashita who had that satisfied smirk on his lips. “H-Hi there! This is Inoue Mao…”

He watched as relief washed through her. Of course, Hye would remember her. “Yeah, I was just curious… if maybe you want to have lunch, say, tomorrow?”

Her face lit up suddenly reminding him of summer. He shook his head mentally as she finished the details of their lunch date. She ended the call, the smile still lingering on her lips. She enjoyed that for a second longer and then she focused her ire on him. He was waiting for that.

“You really can’t stay out of people’s business, can you?”

“I could say the same about you.” She looked confused at his comment. “Seems like I did you a huge favor here. Or were you intent on spending the rest of the afternoon with that card?”

She opened and closed her mouth, unable to think of a retort. “You shouldn’t have done that. I was still contemplating if calling her would be a good idea or not.”

He didn’t seem to get it.

“I am just being extra careful because of my ‘circumstances’. I don’t want to be rash about anything…” Why was she even talking to him about this?

“It’s lunch. No need to overthink it. You’re beating yourself up too much.” Mao was surprised at his concern. ”Or you just want to avoid thanking me?”

She knew he would say something like that. She was honestly a little bit afraid to pull someone else into her life. It’s not exactly the most ideal start to get to know someone. Maybe she was afraid of how they’d react too… If she’s reaching out to someone, only to scare them away… Hye seems like she was a cool person. But it’s hard to say what will happen…

But thanks to him, she’ll get to find out now, she thought sarcastically. Though a part of her really is thankful. If he hadn’t stepped in, so rudely, she’d have stared a hole through that card forever. It was a new start for her. It’s been a while since she had a girls’ day out. Yui had always been her date… Maybe it could be the start of something wonderful…

“Well, thank you…”

Pi’s lips quirked again. She sounded like she had drank poison or something. He averted his gaze as soon as she looked up. He didn’t know why. He just had to. He knew that uncomfortable feeling would intensify.

“Well, we’re even now.”

“Huh?” Mao looked genuinely confused. Which is kinda irking him.

He gave a curt bow and then headed towards the door, with Mao following him with her eyes, still looking lost. The door closed behind him. She stared at it with a frown for a while before she made towards her chair. She really doesn’t get him.

Something on the table caught her eye.

She took a step forward and picked it up. It was one of his éclairs. And it dawned on her; he was thanking her for yesterday. She turned it in her finger and suddenly let out a chuckle. There is hope for him yet. She looked back at the door, the smile still there. It faded away as the memories flooded in.

She looked back down at the sweet.

Jun always never liked them. But she’d always give them as small gifts. Especially the chocolate kisses. She’d be extra giddy about it because it will be considered ‘kisses’ from her. She was corny that way but she didn’t care.

She’d leave one on his desk in the study every night. So in the morning, he’ll see it and that’s one ‘kiss’ from her. This went on for about a month and she never heard anything about it from him. She asked him and he said he naturally took every kiss but he likes the real ones better.

She woke up really early one morning so she can give him a real ‘kiss’ this time. She’d sat in his chair, swiveling it for a while and then decided to doodle something. She opened the top drawer for some pencils but all she found was all her ‘kisses’ stuffed inside.

He’d come in at that moment, pleasantly surprised to see her but his excitement was short-lived. She had found her ‘kisses’ rejected.

“They were not rejected. I wanted to keep them forever so I can really enjoy them and they can cheer me up whenever I fee-“ He had stopped because he knew whatever explanations he has, she wasn’t buying it.

Ohno had walked in on them, definitely confused. The scene: She was sitting on his desk watching him like a hawk as he carefully peeled off a chocolate kiss and popped it into his mouth, looking like he was chewing glass. Several wrappers were spread out. He was on his fifteenth kiss. He had instantly asked Ohno for help, but instead he wanted to witness this front row.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Jun said through a mouthful of chocolate. He was eyeing the rest as if they were Death.

“Because you trampled on my tokens of love. I thought it was really creative too, right, Mumble?”

He's always resented that nickname. “Well… If you think about it, it’s not that new…”

“Right? Right?” Jun almost choked on the chocolates.

Well, he paid for that when she went to get another bag of kisses she was supposed to be giving him.

She focused on the éclair in her hand right now. Why did this have to remind her of Jun? She gave a sigh. She has to remember it has nothing to do with him. This was from a guy she never thought she’d see in a different light. Someone who actually helped her, in his own brusque way.

She opened the wrapper and popped the éclair into her mouth.

Mm. Minty.

She gave a smile.

At least he’d given her something new to remember next time...

**

He was still leaning against the wall outside. His eyes went to the door. Wondering what she thought of his little gift. What is he? An eight year old girl?

He immediately pushed off the wall. Only to stop again. He took out the chocolate she gave him yesterday. No use holding on to it.

He tore off the wrapper, looked at it and then popped it into his mouth.

They were even now.

He moved his feet.

So it’s back to business.

**

“What do you mean you can’t make it?” Pi hissed sharply into the phone. He looked around and went to the side. He could see her already inside the restaurant, looking at the menu, waiting for Hye who actually wasn’t coming.

“I’m really sorry,” Hye’s voice said on the other line. He could imagine she had her palms together in a sign of apology. “The damn waterline burst at the bar. I need to be there to supervise. I can’t leave it to the idiots.”

“We can’t afford anymore delays, Hye.” Pi was trying to be patient. He looked into the restaurant again. That and she’s really looking forward to this… He remembered the way her face lit up.

“I will reschedule it soon! Maybe first thing tomorrow! I’ll buy her breakfast! Look, I gotta go. I still have to call her. I hate doing this. You know I’ve always wanted to meet her,” Hye hurriedly relayed.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, knowing his girl-crush on her. He pocketed his phone and looked in again. He saw her answering her phone, saw her eyes droop a little as Hye made a rain check on their date. She was still smiling but it wasn’t like yesterday. She put her phone down and gave a resigned sigh.

She had gathered her things up and was making her way towards the entrance. He stood there waiting for her. The other two guards were already standing at attention a little distance away.

“Aren’t you waiting for Miss Yoon?” He feigned interest.

“We’ll probably have breakfast tomorrow.” But she wasn’t sure about that still. “Let’s go back.”

“How about your lunch?”

“I’ll just have take-away again.” Her mood really was a little down. She was really excited about this.

“Maybe you should find something to eat here instead of going into that stuffy office.”

“My office isn’t stuffy,” she automatically answered. “And why are you compelled to do the opposite of what I want?”

“Because right now you’re not okay and you don’t know what you want.”

If this is his way of showing concern, she really wants to kick him. “And what do you think I want right now? Since you seem to be the expert.”

“I know you don’t want to be in the office.”

He’d turned down the superior tone for now. She cast aside her prejudice for him and reluctantly agreed to that.

“So… what are you saying?” Honestly, she really doesn’t get what he really wants from her.

That question got him too. What was he saying? Why was he adamant that she doesn’t return to the office right now because he knew that would further dampen her mood?

He was just continuing the plan in place of Hye. That was his immediate explanation. Yeah, this was still all part of the plan. That he needs to let her see what is out there for her. That she can put her trust into someone else now. And not hold on to the people in her life responsible for everything she’s going through anymore.

It wasn’t about seeing her light up again.

“I’m saying, you can do whatever you want right now. Whatever it is, just tell me. Let’s see what I can do,” he offered.

Mao frowned up at him. He really is the weirdest guy… But… all this… does he want to cheer her up? Was she that obvious? That she was very much looking forward to her lunch date with Hye? She groaned inwardly. She was that obvious, huh? She wasn’t in high school, she reminded herself. But… If he was willing to do this for her, he’s really starting to make her change her mind about him… Albeit just a tiny bit…

“Why are you doing this?” She honestly wanted to know. Was he really concerned for her? It was hard to tell with him…

“Well, the lunch date never happened. Technically, we aren’t even yet.” He gave a shrug, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable.

Mao stared at him for a while and then chuckled. His eyes snapped to her. If he really wanted to do this for her, then why shouldn’t she accept? It’s actually starting to work. Her mood was lifting at the thought of getting what would be considered a gift from him.

“You already gave me an éclair,” she then pointed out.

“Fine, if you don’t want to-“

“I never said that!” She shot at him. Then gave a grin.

“So what would it be?”

Well, there’s really only one thing she really wants right now. “I want to watch a movie.”

Pi stared at her. Did he hear right? “A movie?”

“Yeah. What’s showing these days?”

“A movie. That’s your big thing. That’s what you really want?”

“I haven’t been able to watch a movie in the moviehouse for years now. Because I can’t. Ask them. If you’re able to convince them to let me in a moviehouse, then I may have misjudged you after all.” She offered this sagely.

“You’re not allowed to go in a moviehouse?” Pi repeated, incredulous.

“Go work your magic on them,” Mao pointed towards the other two, giving a challenging grin.

**

“How did you convince them?” Mao asked, holding her ticket in one hand and her soda in the other.

Pi was holding her tub of popcorn. She wanted the whole cinematic experience. “I am charming, you know.”

Mao gave him a look.

“And I’m going to replace them in their night shifts for the next two weeks,” he admitted reluctantly.

Mao laughed at that. Her laughter comes out naturally with him. And she almost forgets how it’s been so long since she could laugh like this… His eyes went to her again. She pretended to check her ticket again, carefully peeking up at him.

“Do I have to go in?” He asked, shifting the tub of popcorn in his hand.

“Of course. I can’t go in alone. That would be kinda sad. Let’s go!” She aimed a grin at him and led the way.

He gave a smirk as he followed behind, squashing that feeling he got when her face lit up like that.

**

“That was so much fun!” Mao exclaimed, as they came out the doors.

“Yeah, you’ve said that for the ninety-sixth time.”

Mao ignored him. “That movie was too funny. Were you even watching?”

He really couldn’t concentrate on the movie. Not when he’s being distracted by her sudden bursts of laughter or when she turns to him grinning or when she’s clawing blindly for popcorn, sometimes brushing against his hand. He never knew watching a movie would be stressful. That uncomfortable feeling in his stomach a constant presence. But she was a completely different person inside. Sitting there in the dark with her in a room full of strangers, it felt like they’ve entered a new world. A place where they can leave behind whatever crap they have and for two whole hours just enjoy being one of the normal people in the world. They weren’t the boss and the bodyguard. That world was a million miles away.

And he’d allowed himself at some points to bask in her presence. She had a certain glow to her when she was being herself.

She’s even given him a whole new movie experience. As a sad person, he would be going to the movies alone. But his purpose was to be able to sit in the dark and just take in the fact that he could escape for a while. From the inevitability of his life. And once the lights come on, he was back to dreaded reality.

But he never felt that now. He was still in her presence… It was still a new world for him…

He subconsciously wondered if he can ever have a glimpse of it again the next time…

“Thank you.” She gave him another one of her smiles.

He tried not to make a big deal out of it. “We’re even now.”

Mao rolled her eyes a little at that. He always had to be cool. “We had a bad start, you and I.”

Pi agreed.

“So why don’t we start fresh?”

Pi shot her a questioning look.

She shot out her hand. “Hi, I’m Inoue Mao. And you are?”

Pi looked at her outstretched hand. She offered it again, smiling. He slowly lifted his hand and shook hers. It felt silly.

A good kind of silly.

“Yamashita Tomohisa.”

“Yamashita Tomohisa.” She repeated, thoughtfully. He immediately let go of her hand. “Do they call you… Tomo?”

It was obvious he didn’t like that. Her lips twitched.

He was hesitant at first. “You can call me Pi.”

“Pi? Why Pi?” She inclined her head to the side.

It was Sho’s question, too. Something he never really feels like telling. It looked like he wanted to convey there really was no interesting story to tell. But she was looking at him expectantly. Somehow it was okay because... it was her...

“My mother gave me that nickname...,” he finally said, working his throat. “Pitan for my dark skin because I was always outside.”

Her eyes crinkled. Not knowing the emotional impact the subject of his mom was having on him. “That’s really cute. Pi-tan.”

She gave a light chuckle at that.

“But I think I prefer Tomo.” She gave a triumphant look at the expression that flashed across his face. “Yeah, that’s it.”

He watched her turn around, her steps visibly lighter. He gave a little scoff at her attempt to irk him. He followed her back, the side of his lips lifting. He started to move, absently giving his chest a rub.

That feeling again…