Ikuta Toma stood beneath the lamp post. The light overhead flickering from time to time. He gave a sniff, jamming his hands into his jeans pockets. He looked up the street then checked the time. He should be here soon.
Moments later, he saw the car’s headlights. He shielded his eyes as it rounded the corner and slowly made its way to where he was. It then rolled to a stop in front of him. He looked around automatically. But there were only shadows around. This was practically an abandoned area. There isn’t much traffic even during the day. The perfect location for them. But technically, no place is truly safe.
He made his way to the passenger side, pulled open the door and slid in.
“You know how risky this is,” he greeted.
Sho turned his head to him. “Hello to you, too. You think I want this? Have you got anything at all?”
The slight grimace he gave said it all.
“Shit. I can’t get to Matsumoto. And now even Nagase’s stepping up his game.”
Toma had been his informant for more than a year now. A few of the charges pinned on Nagase’s group was all due to his help. Something that was really unexpected. A former addict locked up because of a random drug bust by Narcotics; he was a small fry not even worth anyone’s attention. But he’d adamantly claimed he had very important inside information about Nagase that could very well save millions of lives. It was theirs if they’d let him out, drop all charges and give him a ride home.
No one took him seriously as he raged about it. Regarding him as an idiot thinking he could get himself free with these crazy ramblings. It didn’t help that his system was chalk full of drugs and they assumed he was just cooking up conspiracy theories in his head.
He’d arrived at the station and had heard a couple of officers having an amused conversation about it. Curiosity got the better of him and he decided to check it out. He knew it was a risky move. He’d carry the slip for the rest of his career if the information ended up useless. They’d be whispering about it in the halls like a sort of urban legend. But his gut just told him to check it out and it paid off.
Turns out Toma had heard of plans of a bank robbery Nagase had been planning. It took a while to pry the information from him. Having sobered up for a moment, enough to conclude he’d live longer if he kept his mouth shut about it. It had taken everything in him to finally grill the details out of him. A drug run introduced to him by a friend had put him in Nagase’s bar and he’d heard the plans by chance. When he came back from the toilet and walked past one of the rooms in the back.
The lead was solid. And they were able to snatch up five armed men that were already preparing to infiltrate the bank. Though as usual, connections to Nagase didn’t stand. But everything had worked out. Be it purely out of chance. It then made him realize he could use Toma. He could be his eyes inside Nagase’s operation. Though having no position of importance in the group, he can still get wind of rumors, snippets of information. No one would suspect him; he was just one of those men you dismiss, not giving any real thought to their presence. Which makes people let their guard down.
He could really use him.
Convincing him took a while longer. He wasn’t going to risk his life anymore. He wanted nothing to do with it. But he’d observed that as long as he pushes harder, as long as he shows him who’s boss, he’s able to get to him. Offering him a way out of jail had also been a factor. But he had nothing to worry about, as long as he’s working for him, he’d be taken care of.
Staring from his addiction. He had helped him get cleaned up, having pulled a few strings to get him on the road to rehabilitation. Of course, this was more due to the fact he needed him to have his wits with him all the time but seeing how the drugs were destroying his life, he had to step in. He had given him back control over his own life. He found out he wasn’t such a bad kid; somehow the gratitude he has for what he did had led him to be a bit more assertive in helping him. Their relationship had gradually taken a step from being boss and informant to sincerely caring about the other as a brother. This made Toma comfortable enough with him to say he wasn’t sure about leading this life anymore. Something that alarmed Sho; he was losing his best man inside. It would be hard to start from scratch with a new informant. So he convinced him that he understands and he will leave him alone after they get something on Nagase’s plan with the Taiwanese. They’ve been meeting up quite more often than he would like. Something big must be up. This was going to be the last one and then he’s free to go.
Sho was sensing again the restlessness Toma was feeling. He knew he already wanted out but it seemed like there was still no sight of it ending just yet. Knew he wanted to let him know again but just couldn’t do it. He felt slightly for him, but he just needed him to stick for a while longer. He then took an envelope out of his coat pocket and handed it to him.
“What’s this? I already got your package last week.”
“Take it. I know you most probably are running low again. Nagase’s not exactly the ideal boss.” Sho gave a smirk and pushed it into his hands.
“Thanks,” he mumbled.
“The moment you get something, give me a call.”
Toma nodded and started to get out before being reminded of something. As if feeling a sudden guilt for not having information at hand. “I’ll try to get something about his cousin Akanishi too.”
“Akanishi?” Sho echoed. He never really gave much thought to him. Toma had mentioned about his return but he had other things to worry about more. He really didn’t care about Nagase’s family reunion.
He had shared Sho’s same disinterest in him too before. But things he’d observed are just too suspicious to ignore. “Nagase’s way too nervous about him. There has to be something there. I’ll let you know.”
Sho gave a nod. Anything that can get to Nagase is fine by him. “Watch your back out there.”
Toma gave another nod and shut the door. Sho watched as he walked away, feeling again that sliver of guilt. Mentally offering him an apology. But he needed to do this.
It will soon end. Soon.
At least that’s what he hoped.
He gave Toma one last look as he blended with the shadows, and then turned the car around.
**
“Yo, Ken!”
“Yoko!” Ken put down the comic book he was reading and turned his attention to Yoko, smiling from the front seat of his car. “What brings you here?”
“Was sent to check on the goods. It’s already been logged, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ken said, looking slightly puzzled. “Isn’t Junpei in charge of that?”
“Well, I’ve been sent instead. He had some other business to do. Wait, let me call him up and have him confirm it.” Yoko’s head disappeared into the car. He emerged again minutes later, looking troubled. “Shit, I left my phone at the warehouse.”
He paused in thought for a while. “I know this is against procedure but just let me in. No one will know. I don’t want to have to drive back out here again.”
“Well…” His ass will be on the line here.
“Come on, help me out. We’re the only ones who really do,” Yoko carefully intoned. He reached inside the duffel bag on the passenger side. He took a brown envelope out. “Here. A little something for your trouble.”
“What’s this?” Ken reluctantly took it and peeked inside.
“That’s on me,” Yoko said as he watched Ken’s reaction.
He gave a smile. He’s in.
**
“Did something good happen to you lately?”
Pi stared at Massu for a while, the deadpan look on his face. “Stop trying to read my aura.”
He walked right past him into their office. Shige was on the phone; gave a smile and nodded at him in greeting. Koyama, his desk behind Shige’s, was leaning back in his chair, laughing at Massu.
“When are you going to change your girlfriend, Massu? Perhaps her mystical powers are rendering you incapable of breaking it off with her. Oooooh,” Koyama said in a hushed voice. Shige guffawed at that as he placed the phone down.
“He probably hasn’t finished his psychic lessons with her. He wouldn’t want to have to pay for them, right?” Shige chipped in. “I kinda miss Ayumi. At least when she was his girlfriend, he always made us pancakes and waffles.”
“Oooh, do you remember when he was dating the golf instructor? Man, seeing him in those fitted collared shirts was hilarious!” Koyama howled.
“You shouldn’t have dated her after Ayumi. You were showing, Massu.” Shige patted his stomach.
“I sense you guys are trying to make a point?” He was shooting them dark looks.
“Yeah, you let your girlfriends rule over your life. But I wouldn’t mind you dating another chef. We are in need of some foodage here!” Koyama demanded jokingly.
“Or maybe a philanthropist,” Shige suggested. “Just enough with the aura crap. You’ve been trying to ‘read’ us for several days now.”
“If you guys took any effort to get to know her, you might not scoff like you are doing right now. She senses things. She knew the reason behind my bad mood yesterday.”
“You were in a bad mood yesterday?” Koyama asked.
“See? You guys didn’t even know it. She took one look at me-“
“It’s pretty easy to figure out the reason. You weren’t able to pig out yesterday.”
Scandalous giggles broke out from the two. Koyama almost fell off his chair when Massu chucked a stapler at him.
“Why did Sho call me in?” Pi called from over his table. He was thankful for a chance to put a stop to the fascinating conversation. That happens a lot in their office. And he was never one to ever join in. “Why is he risking having me come in the station?”
Koyama turned to him. “It’s most probably about that little operation we had. You know how Sho can’t let go till someone loses a finger or a hand or- Anyway, he called Ji Yong in yesterday and-”
“There’s really something different about you-“ Massu started.
“Enough with that,” Koyama and Shige simultaneously interrupted him. “Will you just stop thinking you’re a psychic in training?”
“Or a Jedi Master.”
They all turned to look at the door. Ji Yong stood there, with his usual juice box in hand, grinning.
“What is he wearing?” Pi heard Shige ask Koyama from the corner of his mouth. Both their eyes fixed on Ji Yong.
“I have already given up a long time ago on that question,” came Koyama’s reply.
Ji Yong shuffled in, unaware that his clothes were distracting, settling into the seat in front of Pi’s desk. But Massu would not be pushed into the background.
“Man, you keep cutting me off. Pi might want to hear what I have to say.” He turned towards Pi. Not really expecting anything else but-
“No.”
The three have continued their argument while Ji Yong zipped his juice box, watching on looking amused. He knew Massu was talking nonsense. All this aura crap… He can’t ‘see’ anything. That’s just him getting carried away, as if wanting to prove his potential.
Right?
What the hell is wrong with him? How can he even doubt that explanation? Now, he is really worried. But how could Massu sense that something is different? Because there had been something different just yesterday. The time he spent with her… Most importantly, the reason he actually made it happen…
It was the plan, he firmly said to himself. If Hye hadn’t had to cancel, Massu wouldn’t be picking on his aura right now. His plan would have been underway without all this confusion. Something he never expected could ever happen. Why is he confused? No, he’s not. Next time, he’s staying out of this. He’s leaving it all up to Hye when it comes to her. Though that would be a bit hard; he is with her almost every moment. Damn.
His thoughts went back to yesterday. Maybe he should stop denying it anymore… The connection he made between his mom and her… There was no stopping it. It was evident with how he’d told her the story about his nickname… She was just quietly curious and yet he spilled everything. She’s the only person he’s ever told it to… He had wanted to keep it to himself. It was the only real memory he had with his mom that he truly chose to acknowledge… He knew holding on to the past was useless, but he can’t seem to allow himself to truly let her disappear… Choosing to share with her this memory now… He didn’t understand…
The lingering smile on her lips the whole way home came back to him. Somehow he can’t seem to stop himself from glancing at her. Wanting to see… So does he still really want to leave everything to Hye from now on?
He almost literally gave himself a slap at that. Luckily they were still absorbed in their discussion. Maybe he should just stop analyzing things. He had forgotten how paralyzing emotions can be… This was the most he’d allowed himself to feel. Like Hye once said, he seems to forget he’s human too… Now he was strongly reminded again just how helpless it makes you…
“Good, you’re here,” Sho’s voice broke into his thoughts as he briskly walked in the office. He was grateful for that. Truly grateful. Koyama, Shige and Massu instantly shut their mouths, snapping to attention. Ji Yong gave a salute. Sho was giving rapid orders; the three taking notes. He then asked where Jae Joong had gone and instead of waiting for an answer he gestured to Pi to go with him inside, his eyes falling on Ji Yong.
“Kwon!” Sho’s voice snapped, making the other three jump. “Are you wearing a goddamn skirt?”
“It’s not a skirt. It’s my shirt!” Ji Yong had lifted it up in emphasis.
Sho frowned at him for a moment then let it slide, gesturing to the two once more. He knew it was no use. Departmental dress code never applied to him. The resident tech whiz kid they brought in from Korea had been a bit unconventional right from the get-go. But the higher-ups didn’t have a problem as long as he delivers. Well, as long as he gets him what he needs too. The kid will be in his good graces, in his skirt or not.
“I believe you two are familiar with each other,” Sho said as soon as Ji Yong closed the door behind him. He knew Pi was burning with questions.” Kwon, hand it to him.”
Ji Yong took something out of his jacket pocket and stretched out his hand to Pi. Pi looked at it.
“Why are you giving me a lollipop?”
“Why are you giving him a lollipop?” Sho asked patiently. But this was Ji yong they were talking about.
“It’s what you asked for, right? I’ve already put it inside. We’re all set-up,” Ji Yong grinned. Pi still wasn’t taking the lollipop though.
“What is he talking about?” He directed the question at Sho.
“Kwon will be my second set of ears,” Sho provided the longest explanation.
“You’re bugging me? What the hell? And how come you’re bringing someone else into this without discussing it with me?”
“I am the head of this operation and I can very well do what I think is needed to steer it in the right direction. And after the stunt you pulled the rest of the team into? I’m not taking anymore risks. That doesn’t leave you. At any time.” Sho pointed at the lollipop. “And it might catch something you may miss. You haven’t gotten anything, Pi. What exactly is going on when you’re in there? Where were you yesterday? I couldn’t reach you. It’s like you’ve forgotten what you went in there for in the first place.”
What, he can read his aura too? He felt uncomfortable as Sho looked at him the way Massu had earlier.
He hadn’t forgotten. He was carrying out what he exactly went in to do. Sho just didn’t know that part of the plan. Albeit it was with a little difficulty. A lot of difficulty, he corrected himself as he thought of yesterday again. If only he could stop the flow of thoughts right now. He can’t have Sho think he isn’t up to this anymore. Because he is… He just needed to stop being so damn affected when she was concerned.
“You’re saying you don’t trust me.” His jaw tightened slightly. Well, maybe Sho was right in being cautious… With the way his emotions were playing out… Sometimes it seems he can’t trust himself as well…
This shouldn’t be a problem to him. It never had been a problem for him.
“I’m saying I have your back.” Sho inclined his head at the lollipop. “Take it.”
Pi took it grudgingly. This was going to make things a bit complicated. He can’t have Kwon listening in to every conversation he has. The first thing that flashed across his mind was her.
Shit. He really needs to stop. “Does this have an off button?”
Ji Yong was about to open his mouth when Sho stopped him with a look.
“It doesn’t leave you. Got it?”
Pi just gave a short nod.
“Over and out.”
They both looked to Ji Yong, who looked proud at his little joke. Pi looked down at the lollipop as Sho dismissed him them with a shake of his head at Ji Yong.
It was definitely over for him if he doesn’t figure a way out of this.
**
“So, the off button,” Pi automatically said, as soon as they stepped out. Thankful too that no one else was in the room.
Ji Yong looked at him, a bit unsure at first. He was slightly scared of Sho. And by slightly scared, he means really scared.
“Come on. Knowing someone’s always listening in on the other end is bad enough. I have a right to some privacy here.” Pi waited for him to give in. Ji Yong’s relationship with them was the best out of all the departments in the station. The presence of Jae Joong here had been a factor. He knew he had his heart in the right place, judging from his interactions with the others in the past. He was able to relax now that Ji Yong finally took the lollipop and showed him what he should do.
“You’re lucky I wasn’t able to get the latest equipment,” Ji Yong said, handing back the lollipop. “There’s no off button on that one. But the department hasn’t signed on the budget for that.”
He looked a little glum. Reminded of his chance to tinker with new gadgets being foiled.
“You’re going to report to Sho about every single thing you hear?”
“Yep! Honestly, I was really worried when he called me in yesterday. I thought it was about the accidental hack me and my friend-“ He stopped at once from further incriminating himself. He promptly changes the topic. “I can also track your location with that.”
Pi was glad for that important information. “Why a lollipop?”
Ji Yong gave one of his grins. “I know you like chocolates. But they are no go. So I thought a lollipop would be good; no one will ever check that. Plus you can think of it as a mini microphone.”
He took the lollipop and pretended to speak into it. “Freaky, freaky.”
Pi looked at him, not knowing how to react. Suddenly wishing Jae Joong was here. Thankfully someone poked his head in and relayed that Ji Yong was needed elsewhere. He shuffled out in his blinged-up kicks, meeting Jae Joong who was making his way in. They gave each other a high-five, mentioning about lunch.
“Yo, Pi,” Jae Joong greeted distractedly, a bunch of old files in his hands. He settled down into his seat, making a few small notes in his pad.
Pi pocketed the lollipop. His mood had taken a nosedive. First it was Massu. Now Sho was noticing how he’s a little off. Does he have it written on his forehead? He was way too new at controlling such overwhelming feelings again after all this time… His eyes fell on the yellowed files Jae Joong had brought in. Anything for a distraction. A photo peeking out has caught his eye.
He moved towards his table. Jae Joong still preoccupied with his notes. The file looked familiar. He slowly slid the photo out. It was a group photo. He had looked into this file before. He immediately locked in on her crinkled eyes. He threw it back down as soon as he caught himself. He saw the name on the two other files.
One was the investigation into the disappearnce of Nishikido Kenichi. Some blood, that turned out to be from some of his known accomplices, were found by a group of teenagers in an abandoned warehouse. His apartment building and his lawyer’s office were burned down. The police didn’t do much effort into finding out what happened and if there was a connection or not between the two incidents. He was a scumbag and so his case was pushed far back. He was probably off somewhere enjoying the filthy money he’s acquired. There were more important cases that needed them.
The other was a file on Nishikido Ryo. The last place he was seen was outside a hospital. A blurred traffic photo was all they got. According to reports, men had been chasing a woman down the street before she was forcibly pulled into a car. Resulting in a car chase. Someone very powerful has kept things under wraps. They didn’t get anything from the cars abandoned. There was absolutely nothing when responding officers arrived. Even people from the hospital had no comments all of a sudden. Almost as if nothing happened. They’ve checked Nishikido’s place, but they got nothing. It was still a mystery how someone like him would be caught in this.
There were speculations the two brother have fled together. But what for? They may never find out. No one seems to really care. Till now.
“What’s up with digging up these cold cases?”
“Oh,” Jae Joong grinned, somehow glad to have an audience. “A reliable source tells me someone’s accessed these particular files lately from our database. I thought to check it out coz they have on at least one occasion been linked to both Matsumoto and Nagase. It doesn’t hurt to dig a little deeper, right?”
Jae Joong; the resident hard-worker and achiever. He’s the one who wouldn’t let go of a hunch no matter how small the chances of it being legit. And it pays off most of the time. So seeing him particularly immersed in this, he wouldn’t be surprised if he catches anything new that would shed some light in the cases. He looked at his in-tray. His hands were full, but he knew that doesn’t really stop the guy. Even Koyama and the others jokingly complain to him that he was making everybody else look bad. But he was an asset to the team and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Not that they didn’t resent him the first time he was transferred here. Always referring to him as “The Korean” before. They still do that now but it’s out of love.
“How’s Nagase connected to this?” He tried to be as casual as possible, pointing to Aragaki Yui’s case.
Jae Joong held up the file. “Well, a report jumped out to me. The convenience store in the nearby area had been burglarized a day after her body was found. They cleaned everything out. The security tapes were all gone.”
“A witness described one of the goons,” Jae Joong took out a sketch. “It looked like one of the more notorious men from Nagase’s group. Weird, huh? That’s too small time for them. But eye witnesses tend to be unreliable. It was an old lady who was taking her cat for a walk. But she’s one of those nosy neighbors you sometimes get, so she may be sharper than we think. But it’s all just theories, random details for now.”
Jae Joong absently held up a photo of Aiba Masaki and Aragaki Yui. He saw again how different he had been before. And seeing where everything has led him; trying to find some sort of escape, trying to find something to make him feel alive somehow… He didn’t think he was allowing himself to recover. Because someone still hasn’t paid with their life. He knew exactly how he felt. Not really wanting to be sharing that certain understanding with him… but it was there. They weren’t going anywhere until they have their revenge. His resolve was gradually renewed at that thought. That was the most important thing here. He shouldn’t let himself be distracted anymore.
He was looking through most of the photos again as Jae Joong commented on Aiba. His heart suddenly jumped, quickly snatching up a photo. The officers in charge have taken shots of onlookers surrounding the crime scene. In hopes that maybe the suspect may have decided to come back and survey the chaos he’s caused. He missed this the first time. At the back was a familiar side profile. Half- blocked by a tall high school student but there was no mistaking it… It looked very much like Akanishi Jin. But the photo was too blurred to make a positive identification. Was he just mistaken?
He remembered the way he had looked her, the way he had advanced on her. He could be a predator…
He is a predator.
And the circumstances surrounding him were somehow starting to make sense now…
“Can you get Ji Yong to try and clean this photo up? I need a clear shot of this guy here.”
Jae Joong took the photo, peering at it. If anyone could work their magic on such a photo, it was Ji Yong. He’ll have to see if he can put this on top of that pile of deadlines he has on his desk. This wasn’t exactly top priority. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s Akanishi Jin. Nagase’s cousin.” Maybe Jae Joong would be able to find something more about his past.
“Cousin?” Jae Joong exclaimed. He’s never heard anything about this cousin of his. Didn’t even know they were keeping tabs on him. He didn’t ask any further, concentrating on the task at hand.
Pi looked at his watch. He’d better be going back. It was the orphanage today. He may have been subconsciously delaying going there again.
“You need to be going back, huh?” Jae Joong said. “If anything comes up, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Yeah…” He really doesn’t feel up to leaving yet.
“Have you met him?” Jae Joong suddenly asked, holding the photo with Aiba in it.
“Once or twice. Why?”
“He’s still looking for the one responsible, isn’t he? I just wondered what it would be like for him if he knew about this sort of lead we had. It’s the only thing concrete that’s ever been found, you know.”
“You know what his plan really is if ever the culprit is confirmed.” A different kind of hell would be waiting for that person.
“Yeah, I know… All these years feeling that helplessness of not being able to do something… That’s going to kill a person’s spirit. If it were me, I would never tell him even if I knew who did it. There would be no going back for him after that.” Jae Joong shook his head sadly. ”I don’t condemn the fact that he’s looking for revenge. His desire to destroy the bastard. Every person has a different way of grieving. But why doesn’t he just move on? Just let go? I don’t think she would like the way he’s lived his life.”
“The only people that can talk about letting go are people who don’t know what it’s like to have that in their lives.”
Jae Joong looked at Pi. At his closed expression. Did his words hit close to home? “Let’s say he had his revenge. Let’ say he’s finally put the bastard down. Then what?”
Then what?
Honestly, he had never thought about that part.
“He still doesn’t have anything. After the satisfaction of revenge, he still won’t have the one thing he truly wants.”
The ringing of the phone cut through the moment. And he was glad for that, suddenly unable to take being in the room. Jae Joong picked up the phone and gave a nod at him as indicated he was leaving.
He walked out of the room, trying not to be affected by Jae Joong’s words.
Trying not to think of that question.
Then what?
Would he ever have an answer?
He never would have thought he wanted one.
**
“Sakurai Sho has a big head that is not proportional with his body.”
“Sakurai Sho’s left nostril is bigger than his right nostril.”
“Sakurai Sho is insecure about his sloping shoulders.”
That would teach him. He was walking around the orphanage with the lollipop in hand. Ji Yong was for sure on the other end, probably trying not to crack up. But let’s see him report everything he’s saying to Sho.
“Are you talking to yourself?”
Pi stopped in his tracks and whipped his head back. He had been absently walking around, trying to find at least one person. But the yard and halls seemed to be deserted. He’d jammed his hands into his pockets only to find the lollipop in one of them. Reminded of his irritation, he decided to abuse Sho. And Ji Yong’s probably bored anyway.
He carefully put the lollipop back into his pocket, out of her sight. His finger automatically went for the off button. He hadn’t noticed he’d walked past her classroom. She took a tentative step forward.
Mao stood by the door, the uncertain smile on her lips. Somehow she didn’t know how to approach him after yesterday. It was always that way. She still couldn’t read his moods; always reminded of how he’d be warm, or more like lukewarm, one minute and the next she just wants to punch him in the face.
He didn’t answer her question; he was being kind of stand-offish again. As if nothing happened. Yesterday is still fresh on her mind, but it seems not the case for him. Maybe she shouldn’t have let what happened have an effect on her too much… It was nothing really…
No, it wasn’t.
It was one of the best days she’s had in a long while. Even just the two hours in the moviehouse could help her through a month. He’s helped her a lot. And somehow she wants to return the favor. She knew that it will be the most difficult thing she’s ever had to do but she really doesn’t mind.
He’s given her something to smile about, laugh about.
Maybe he thinks he doesn’t need anything from her. Or from anyone at all. She was going to change his mind. Maybe she was taking matters into her own hands too much… But she somehow has a feeling it’s exactly what he needs…
They stood there, the atmosphere in the air kind of awkward and stiff. He averted his gaze, not willing to give an opening for conversation. She glanced back inside the classroom for a second. Now she didn’t know how to do this.
“I have something to show you inside,” she said quietly, watching for his reaction. Will he blow her off? She wished he would just say something scathing or annoying so she would at least know how to act. But she reminded herself to be patient. She needed a lot of that with him.
He looked like he was looking for a way out and couldn’t come up with one. He gave a nod. She gave a sort of relieved smile and stepped into the classroom. She could hear him following behind.
“See anything familiar?”
Pi didn’t dare look directly at her shining face. She was really happy about this something. He looked around. The windowsill now had two tanks. The hamster’s home and-
“It’s the turtle,” he blurted out.
Mao grinned up at him. He was careful not to get the full effect. “Yeah, I figured he’d be happier here, too. So I decided to drop by the pet shop earlier today. He looked so lonely. At least he’s made new friends now. Sorta.”
She pointed at herself, at him and at the hamster who was sniffing the air around him again. She reached in and picked up the turtle that was inside his shell again. She was peeking at it, trying to get it to come out.
She looked like she was hesitant about something in her mind. She then put the turtle back in. And without looking at him, she said, “He kind of reminds me of you.”
Pi’s eyes snapped to her. She was still looking into the turtle’s tank.
He worked his throat. “That’s an insult, right?”
Mao looked up at him. He wasn’t ready for the sound of her laughter. The uncomfortable feeling was growing in him.
She was glad he was back to normal. At least as normal as he can be.
“An insult to him maybe?” Her nose wrinkled gently. “I just thought… he can’t be in his shell forever. That would be too much of a waste. So maybe the kids can care for him and get him to come out as much as possible.”
His eyes locked with hers for a moment. He immediately focused his gaze on the turtle. She was smiling down at it, still trying to get it to come out.
“What makes you so sure he wants to come out of his shell? Maybe he should just be left alone.” He was vaguely aware he was being compared to a turtle. But there were more confusing thoughts.
Why was she like that? She’s already experienced so much… And yet, here she was trying to make him see that there was more that this life could offer… Sensing his contempt, his wounds…
How can she be able to believe that still?
“We’ll have to try and see then, right? You don’t know the power of these kids. I can’t wait to see their reactions later,” she chuckled, imagining another raucous during naming time. “You can help too, if you want…”
Something bubbled inside him. “I don’t think I’d want to waste my time.”
Her smile faded a little. “Cynical much?”
“Just because I don’t share your enthusiasm? I’m just stating my opinion.” Why was he being such an ass again? He’s learned he really can’t handle panic well. But she was making those crippling emotions come out again. He can’t have that.
He can’t have her show him how much he was willing to look over…
He can’t allow any changes…
Not with his situation…
“How about a bet?”
Pi looked confused.
“I’m betting we can change him,” Mao said, a determined glint in her eyes. “Whoever loses the bet will do anything the winner asks.”
Pi gave a smirk. “You really want to have to do anything I ask?”
“There’s plenty of time still. Don’t be so sure. I’m already imagining our victory.” She aimed at him a haughty look. He could see the color in her cheeks.
He gave another dark smirk and turned to leave. He suddenly felt the air stifling him. He needed to stay away from her. She was wreaking havoc to his emotions; some he thought he’d already lost way before.
“I am going to win, you know,” she called after him.
He was gone. She gave a sigh at the empty door. Looking back at the shell inside the tank, she then crouched down, eye to eye with him. She placed a finger on the glass, as if poking him through it.
“Come on, little guy. I know you can do this,” she softly cheered him on. “Let’s show the big gorilla what we can do, huh?”
So he can stop closing himself off to everything…
So he can start believing again…
“I just want to help him…” she whispered, poking the glass again.
Pi had been standing just outside the door all this while. He was careful not to be seen, taking a look at her. She was still looking through the glass. He then quietly turned to go when a nearby class had finished their lessons.
Kids' cheerful voices then filled the hall as he absent-mindedly made his way.
His mind still on her.
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